ShortCuts in This Guide

• Boost My Teen's Body Image
  Here are four opportunities for you to spend time with your teen and help him or her understand that being healthy, thinking well of oneself, and having fun are more important to happiness than looking perfect (whatever that is).

  Shop Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Check your teen’s comfort level as he or she tries on clothes. Is your teen self conscious about his or her body? Does he or she criticize every item, even if it looks fantastic?
  • Model positive behavior. Take this opportunity to show your optimistic side. Don’t criticize clothing you try on by saying it makes you look fat or old. Focus on the good points, for example, how a sweater matches your eyes.
  • Start a conversation. Use the time together to talk about what your teen’s peers are wearing. Often conversations about something as simple as clothes can open up discussions about risky teenage behavior friends engage in (drinking, drugs, eating disorders).

  Exercise Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Is he or she having fun? Is your teen giving the activity his or her best effort?
  • Model positive behavior. Take turns picking the form of exercise and be upbeat about the choice, even if it isn’t something you enjoy. If you complain about exercising, you increase the chances that your teen will complain about working out next time.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about the importance of exercise to overall health. Exercise usually gives people more energy, so celebrate your teen’s increased energy if you observe it.

  Cook Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. If you’re worried that he or she is eating too little or making poor food choices, note what your kid eats as you’re working in the kitchen together. You may be surprised by what you see.
  • Model positive behavior. If you choose recipes your family enjoys that include plenty of veggies and lean meats, chances are your teen will buy into the idea.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about healthful food choices at home and at school. Try to get your teen to open up about what everyone is (or isn’t) eating at the school lunch table.

  Look Through Fashion or Muscle Magazines Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Does he or she constantly mention longing to look like the celebrities in the magazines? Or does your teen think the models look unhealthy? Pay close attention to what he or she likes about the models: their hair, weight, clothes, and so on.
  • Model positive behavior. It’s OK to say you like certain things about the models in the magazines, but don’t compare yourself (or your teen) to the unrealistic images you see on the pages.
  • Start a conversation. This is a perfect opportunity to talk about what makes teens feel good and bad about themselves. List the positive and negative qualities you see in the models, and mention how much time (and photo retouching) it took to make them look as they do.

• Boost My Teen's Body Image

  Here are four opportunities for you to spend time with your teen and help him or her understand that being healthy, thinking well of oneself, and having fun are more important to happiness than looking perfect (whatever that is).

  Shop Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Check your teen’s comfort level as he or she tries on clothes. Is your teen self conscious about his or her body? Does he or she criticize every item, even if it looks fantastic?
  • Model positive behavior. Take this opportunity to show your optimistic side. Don’t criticize clothing you try on by saying it makes you look fat or old. Focus on the good points, for example, how a sweater matches your eyes.
  • Start a conversation. Use the time together to talk about what your teen’s peers are wearing. Often conversations about something as simple as clothes can open up discussions about risky teenage behavior friends engage in (drinking, drugs, eating disorders).

  Exercise Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Is he or she having fun? Is your teen giving the activity his or her best effort?
  • Model positive behavior. Take turns picking the form of exercise and be upbeat about the choice, even if it isn’t something you enjoy. If you complain about exercising, you increase the chances that your teen will complain about working out next time.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about the importance of exercise to overall health. Exercise usually gives people more energy, so celebrate your teen’s increased energy if you observe it.

  Cook Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. If you’re worried that he or she is eating too little or making poor food choices, note what your kid eats as you’re working in the kitchen together. You may be surprised by what you see.
  • Model positive behavior. If you choose recipes your family enjoys that include plenty of veggies and lean meats, chances are your teen will buy into the idea.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about healthful food choices at home and at school. Try to get your teen to open up about what everyone is (or isn’t) eating at the school lunch table.

  Look Through Fashion or Muscle Magazines Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Does he or she constantly mention longing to look like the celebrities in the magazines? Or does your teen think the models look unhealthy? Pay close attention to what he or she likes about the models: their hair, weight, clothes, and so on.
  • Model positive behavior. It’s OK to say you like certain things about the models in the magazines, but don’t compare yourself (or your teen) to the unrealistic images you see on the pages.
  • Start a conversation. This is a perfect opportunity to talk about what makes teens feel good and bad about themselves. List the positive and negative qualities you see in the models, and mention how much time (and photo retouching) it took to make them look as they do.
• Address Body Image Issues without Making Them Worse
  It’s tough to talk about topics related to female or male body image, especially with a teenager. Whether you are concerned with your child’s weight, skin, personal hygiene, or choice of dress, here are some ideas for getting your teen moving toward good health without causing additional stress. Remember: your teen’s goals—and yours—should prize good health over good looks.
  

  • Be a sounding board. Your teen’s preoccupation with his or her body image won’t last forever. But during the most intense time, offer support by simply listening to your child’s concerns. You may not agree, but you can help by simply listening without judging.
  • Show concern. If you’re worried about your teen’s physical health, approach him or her in a nonthreatening manner. Don’t accuse—simply point out the reasons you are concerned.
  • Take EduGuide’s “How Healthy Is My Teen?” and “Does My Teen Have a Positive Body Image?” quizzes. Share your answers with your teen and discuss any areas of disagreement. (Coming soon!)
  • Offer suggestions. Before you talk to your child, make a list of suggestions for improving his or her overall personal health and wellness. Ideas may include healthful eating tips, visiting a doctor (if your teen has acne), or shopping for clothing together.
  • Be positive. Point out some of your teen’s good qualities before saying anything about making changes. For instance, compliment a hairstyle or outfit before saying anything about skin or weight problems. To improve self-esteem, have your teen tell you three positive things about him- or herself every day.
  • Don’t compare. It’s hard to watch other kids develop before yours does, but avoid comparing your teen to others the same age. The more concerned you become about differences, the more worried your teen will get.
  • Encourage new activities. Help your teen get involved in volunteer work, music, sports, or theater. The stage is a great place for kids to learn to leave their self-consciousness behind. Check with your child’s school or a community theater group.
  • Exercise together. Take turns picking the form of exercise and be upbeat about the choice, even if it isn’t your favorite.
  • Cook together. Let your teen assist in the kitchen. As well as learning new skills, cooking can help your child take ownership of something he or she is trying to accomplish.
  • Focus on good health. Avoid talking about your teen’s appearance; instead, focus on health. Give suggestions for staying healthy, such as eating right, exercising in moderation, and keeping clean.
  • Talk about how people make changes in their lives. Make a list of personal qualities people can change and those that they can’t change, like height, bone structure, and shoe size. Help your teen set goals for making one or two changes over the coming weeks and months, such as getting in better shape or making healthful lunches to bring to school.
  • Be patient. Yelling at your teen as he or she is getting ready for school in the morning can ruin everyone’s day. Give your child a few extra minutes to get ready for school without losing your temper.

• Address Body Image Issues without Making Them Worse

  It’s tough to talk about topics related to female or male body image, especially with a teenager. Whether you are concerned with your child’s weight, skin, personal hygiene, or choice of dress, here are some ideas for getting your teen moving toward good health without causing additional stress. Remember: your teen’s goals—and yours—should prize good health over good looks.
  

  • Be a sounding board. Your teen’s preoccupation with his or her body image won’t last forever. But during the most intense time, offer support by simply listening to your child’s concerns. You may not agree, but you can help by simply listening without judging.
  • Show concern. If you’re worried about your teen’s physical health, approach him or her in a nonthreatening manner. Don’t accuse—simply point out the reasons you are concerned.
  • Take EduGuide’s “How Healthy Is My Teen?” and “Does My Teen Have a Positive Body Image?” quizzes. Share your answers with your teen and discuss any areas of disagreement. (Coming soon!)
  • Offer suggestions. Before you talk to your child, make a list of suggestions for improving his or her overall personal health and wellness. Ideas may include healthful eating tips, visiting a doctor (if your teen has acne), or shopping for clothing together.
  • Be positive. Point out some of your teen’s good qualities before saying anything about making changes. For instance, compliment a hairstyle or outfit before saying anything about skin or weight problems. To improve self-esteem, have your teen tell you three positive things about him- or herself every day.
  • Don’t compare. It’s hard to watch other kids develop before yours does, but avoid comparing your teen to others the same age. The more concerned you become about differences, the more worried your teen will get.
  • Encourage new activities. Help your teen get involved in volunteer work, music, sports, or theater. The stage is a great place for kids to learn to leave their self-consciousness behind. Check with your child’s school or a community theater group.
  • Exercise together. Take turns picking the form of exercise and be upbeat about the choice, even if it isn’t your favorite.
  • Cook together. Let your teen assist in the kitchen. As well as learning new skills, cooking can help your child take ownership of something he or she is trying to accomplish.
  • Focus on good health. Avoid talking about your teen’s appearance; instead, focus on health. Give suggestions for staying healthy, such as eating right, exercising in moderation, and keeping clean.
  • Talk about how people make changes in their lives. Make a list of personal qualities people can change and those that they can’t change, like height, bone structure, and shoe size. Help your teen set goals for making one or two changes over the coming weeks and months, such as getting in better shape or making healthful lunches to bring to school.
  • Be patient. Yelling at your teen as he or she is getting ready for school in the morning can ruin everyone’s day. Give your child a few extra minutes to get ready for school without losing your temper.
• Recognize the Warning Signs of Anorexia and Bulimia
  Obsession with their appearance can make teenagers anxious and depressed. If left untreated, this obsession can turn into a serious eating disorder. The two most common types of eating disorders are anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa (typically called anorexia and bulimia). If you’re concerned with your teen’s weight or eating patterns, look for these warning signs.
  

  Signs of Anorexia

  • Has an extreme fear of gaining weight or being fat
  • Holds a warped view of body size
  • Can’t maintain a normal weight; becomes extremely thin
  • Exercises excessively
  • Eats very little food
  • Constantly weighs him- or herself
  • Excuses him- or herself from activities involving food
  • Lacks energy frequently, is depressed and cold
  • Misses menstrual periods
  • Is constipated; has abdominal pain
  • Is anemic

  Signs of Bulimia

  • Has an extreme fear of gaining weight or being fat
  • Eats a lot of food and then forces him- or herself to vomit (binges and purges)
  • Eats a lot of food and then exercises excessively
  • Binges and purges at least twice a week for several months
  • Purges secretly
  • Uses laxatives along with forcing vomiting
  • Uses the bathroom frequently after every meal
  • Buys laxatives or enemas frequently
  • Excuses him- or herself from activities involving food
  • Has scars or calluses on hands
  • Has puffy cheeks from excessive vomiting
  • Has discolored teeth

  It’s very important to seek help from a school counselor, your child’s doctor, or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders if you suspect that your child has anorexia or bulimia. If left untreated, anorexia can cause bone and heart problems, depression—even death from medical complications or suicide. Bulimia outcomes may include chronic sore throat, ulcers, swelling of hands and feet, abdominal pain, or a ruptured esophagus or stomach. Contact the National Eating Disorders Association Hotline at 1-800-931-2237 for more information.
  
  
  Sources: kidshealth.org
  apa.org (American Pediatric Association)
  medicinenet.com

• Recognize the Warning Signs of Anorexia and Bulimia

  Obsession with their appearance can make teenagers anxious and depressed. If left untreated, this obsession can turn into a serious eating disorder. The two most common types of eating disorders are anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa (typically called anorexia and bulimia). If you’re concerned with your teen’s weight or eating patterns, look for these warning signs.
  

  Signs of Anorexia

  • Has an extreme fear of gaining weight or being fat
  • Holds a warped view of body size
  • Can’t maintain a normal weight; becomes extremely thin
  • Exercises excessively
  • Eats very little food
  • Constantly weighs him- or herself
  • Excuses him- or herself from activities involving food
  • Lacks energy frequently, is depressed and cold
  • Misses menstrual periods
  • Is constipated; has abdominal pain
  • Is anemic

  Signs of Bulimia

  • Has an extreme fear of gaining weight or being fat
  • Eats a lot of food and then forces him- or herself to vomit (binges and purges)
  • Eats a lot of food and then exercises excessively
  • Binges and purges at least twice a week for several months
  • Purges secretly
  • Uses laxatives along with forcing vomiting
  • Uses the bathroom frequently after every meal
  • Buys laxatives or enemas frequently
  • Excuses him- or herself from activities involving food
  • Has scars or calluses on hands
  • Has puffy cheeks from excessive vomiting
  • Has discolored teeth

  It’s very important to seek help from a school counselor, your child’s doctor, or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders if you suspect that your child has anorexia or bulimia. If left untreated, anorexia can cause bone and heart problems, depression—even death from medical complications or suicide. Bulimia outcomes may include chronic sore throat, ulcers, swelling of hands and feet, abdominal pain, or a ruptured esophagus or stomach. Contact the National Eating Disorders Association Hotline at 1-800-931-2237 for more information.
  
  
  Sources: kidshealth.org
  apa.org (American Pediatric Association)
  medicinenet.com
• Ten Simple Family Ideas to Build Teens' Self-esteem
  Helping teens feel good about themselves can be a challenge at times, but these ten suggestions can get you started:

  1. Make a habit of hugging your teens and telling them you love them every day.
  2. Plan and prepare healthful meals with your teenagers as often as you can, and eat the meals together as a family.
  3. Play the game High-Low. When the family is gathered together, perhaps at dinner, have everyone share the best part (the high point) and the worst part (the low point) of their day. Encourage everyone to practice active listening by paying attention, looking at the person who’s talking, and asking questions.
  4. Show interest in what your teens learn in school. Ask them at least one question every day about one of their classes. Follow up on school issues of concern to your kids—or you.
  5. Focus on success. Every day, mention one of your teenagers’ successes (for example, wake up happy, earn a good grade on an assignment, feed the dog without being asked). Take this suggestion one step further by keeping a written list of successes to post in their bedrooms. Add to the list weekly or monthly.
  6. Plan a day without television and computers in which you focus on family home activities. Play board games or card games. Read books together. Look at family photos. Play music, listen to it, dance to it.
  7. Make a list—or if you’re feeling creative a poem or song—of all the reasons your teens are special. Then post the list for everyone to admire.
  8. Designate a special time or day to spend with each of your teens. Let him or her choose how you will spend your time together.
  9. Tell your teens you are proud of them. Think of different ways to praise your children each day. Be sincere!
  10. Slip notes of encouragement in your teenagers’ lunch sacks, pockets, or under their pillows.

• Ten Simple Family Ideas to Build Teens' Self-esteem

  Helping teens feel good about themselves can be a challenge at times, but these ten suggestions can get you started:

  1. Make a habit of hugging your teens and telling them you love them every day.
  2. Plan and prepare healthful meals with your teenagers as often as you can, and eat the meals together as a family.
  3. Play the game High-Low. When the family is gathered together, perhaps at dinner, have everyone share the best part (the high point) and the worst part (the low point) of their day. Encourage everyone to practice active listening by paying attention, looking at the person who’s talking, and asking questions.
  4. Show interest in what your teens learn in school. Ask them at least one question every day about one of their classes. Follow up on school issues of concern to your kids—or you.
  5. Focus on success. Every day, mention one of your teenagers’ successes (for example, wake up happy, earn a good grade on an assignment, feed the dog without being asked). Take this suggestion one step further by keeping a written list of successes to post in their bedrooms. Add to the list weekly or monthly.
  6. Plan a day without television and computers in which you focus on family home activities. Play board games or card games. Read books together. Look at family photos. Play music, listen to it, dance to it.
  7. Make a list—or if you’re feeling creative a poem or song—of all the reasons your teens are special. Then post the list for everyone to admire.
  8. Designate a special time or day to spend with each of your teens. Let him or her choose how you will spend your time together.
  9. Tell your teens you are proud of them. Think of different ways to praise your children each day. Be sincere!
  10. Slip notes of encouragement in your teenagers’ lunch sacks, pockets, or under their pillows.