Preschooler Activities: Chores Can Be Rewarding
Is your child interested in everything you do? Introduce her to the world of work by giving her some simple tasks. Preschooler activities become rewarding jobs.
[Read more »]Considering how much of my life is spent avoiding work, I've been shocked by how eager my 3-year-old son is to get into it. He begs to visit me at my office. He shadows me around the house, offering to help paint, hammer and sweep. Last night he led me into my workroom just so he could gaze at my tools.
Some parents introduce chores and even allowance between 3 and 5 years of age with a chart of a few small jobs posted on the refrigerator. Kids labor to fill in the chart with stickers and stars.
At this stage, we've decided to focus on teaching our boy to clean up after himself with odd jobs that have to be done before he can move on to other family home activities. We talk a lot about sharing responsibility.
Here's what we've learned:
- Share the work. Your preschooler won't be mowing the lawn anytime soon. In fact, he's likely to get distracted during any job that takes more than ten minutes. Look for simple activities like setting the table or projects that can be broken down into bite-sized chunks like making thank-you cards. Count on lending a hand, but avoid the temptation to take over if it's "his" job; try to work at his pace or move on to other things.
- Share the rewards. I don't like to nag my son into working -- it belittles both of us.So I try to give him jobs with rewards and let him choose: "If you clean up the toys, we can wrestle." The trick is finding jobs where we can live with the results if the work doesn't get done right away and then keeping my mouth shut.
- Share the praise. A little praise goes a long way. Experts say the most effective praise goes beyond "Johnny, you're a good boy." Tell kids exactly what they're doing that's so good and why: "Johnny, I like the way you held the bowl so that the cookie dough wouldn't spill when I stirred it. We didn't lose any dough on the floor, and now there's more to eat."
- Share what you know. I learned from my dad that kids learn best by watching and doing. They love to mimic us, and they learn quicker by being shown how to hold a screw driver than by being told. But letting them make mistakes on their own can also help them learn and even inspire confidence: "Dad trusts me to figure this out."
- Share your values. I've had to think twice about how I glorify or gripe about my work in front of our kids. I want them to know that work is sometimes hard and can be a rewarding part of their lives. I like them to visit me at work and see me in action. I want them to dream about the kind of jobs they may have one day. And I also want them to know that there's more to life than work.
Getting your child's "help" may take more time at first, but it will pay off as he learns new skills and gains greater confidence in his ability to make a difference. After all, some day they may be caring for us when we retire.
Bryan Taylor is the president and founder of EduGuide.
Preschooler Activities: Chores Can Be Rewarding
Considering how much of my life is spent avoiding work, I've been shocked by how eager my 3-year-old son is to get into it. He begs to visit me at my office. He shadows me around the house, offering to help paint, hammer and sweep. Last night he led me into my workroom just so he could gaze at my tools.
Some parents introduce chores and even allowance between 3 and 5 years of age with a chart of a few small jobs posted on the refrigerator. Kids labor to fill in the chart with stickers and stars.
At this stage, we've decided to focus on teaching our boy to clean up after himself with odd jobs that have to be done before he can move on to other family home activities. We talk a lot about sharing responsibility.
Here's what we've learned:
- Share the work. Your preschooler won't be mowing the lawn anytime soon. In fact, he's likely to get distracted during any job that takes more than ten minutes. Look for simple activities like setting the table or projects that can be broken down into bite-sized chunks like making thank-you cards. Count on lending a hand, but avoid the temptation to take over if it's "his" job; try to work at his pace or move on to other things.
- Share the rewards. I don't like to nag my son into working -- it belittles both of us.So I try to give him jobs with rewards and let him choose: "If you clean up the toys, we can wrestle." The trick is finding jobs where we can live with the results if the work doesn't get done right away and then keeping my mouth shut.
- Share the praise. A little praise goes a long way. Experts say the most effective praise goes beyond "Johnny, you're a good boy." Tell kids exactly what they're doing that's so good and why: "Johnny, I like the way you held the bowl so that the cookie dough wouldn't spill when I stirred it. We didn't lose any dough on the floor, and now there's more to eat."
- Share what you know. I learned from my dad that kids learn best by watching and doing. They love to mimic us, and they learn quicker by being shown how to hold a screw driver than by being told. But letting them make mistakes on their own can also help them learn and even inspire confidence: "Dad trusts me to figure this out."
- Share your values. I've had to think twice about how I glorify or gripe about my work in front of our kids. I want them to know that work is sometimes hard and can be a rewarding part of their lives. I like them to visit me at work and see me in action. I want them to dream about the kind of jobs they may have one day. And I also want them to know that there's more to life than work.
Getting your child's "help" may take more time at first, but it will pay off as he learns new skills and gains greater confidence in his ability to make a difference. After all, some day they may be caring for us when we retire.
Bryan Taylor is the president and founder of EduGuide.
Real Life Story: Walking the Dog
One mom’s story about how the word “chore” was a four-letter word and when it came to chores for kids, caring for pets was not considered one – but instead it was a privilege.
[Read more »]Chore. It’s an ugly little word. A cross between chalky and boring, it even sounds unpleasant.
This may have been one reason why my mom, ever attuned to the music of language, never assigned this word to the care of her children or her pets. Lots of child experts will tell you that caring for the family pet is an excellent way to teach children responsibility. It may be true, but on this, as on many “expert decrees,” my Mom quietly dissented.
To her, the quickest way to demote man’s best friend to the level of yard work was to assign the word “chore” to him. Walking our dogs and feeding out cats was, for her, an act of love—not remotely related to taking out the garbage or shoveling the driveway. Our dogs and cats were family, with nearly equal status as the two-footed relations (valued more highly than some). Taking care of them was a privilege, not a chore for kids. My siblings and I were allowed to do it, if we were good. We weren’t paid for it or punished with it.
In my mother’s house, the pets ate when we ate, lounged where we lounged. Mom cleaned up their “accidents” (and ours) with Pine Sol and patience. There was no swatting and no shaming, for man or beast.
My mom wasn’t the world’s most fastidious housekeeper, but fresh water in the dog bowls was sacrosanct. She wouldn’t go to bed until the pets’ water was topped off. On hot days, she added ice. When I grew up and she visited my house, I’d catch her eyeing the pet bowls. If they weren’t full, she’d cast a commiserative look at my pets and raise an eyebrow at me.
Since she was small, my own daughter has watched me walk our dogs (in sleet and wind), scoop cat litter, and keep the pet bowls filled. She frequently asks if she may pour out the kibble, hold the leash, or brush a shaggy coat. And whenever she draws pictures of her family, she always labels us: “Mommy, Daddy, Jazzy, Oyster, and me.”
MaryKat Parks Workinger is the editorial director of EduGuide.
Real Life Story: Walking the Dog
Chore. It’s an ugly little word. A cross between chalky and boring, it even sounds unpleasant.
This may have been one reason why my mom, ever attuned to the music of language, never assigned this word to the care of her children or her pets. Lots of child experts will tell you that caring for the family pet is an excellent way to teach children responsibility. It may be true, but on this, as on many “expert decrees,” my Mom quietly dissented.
To her, the quickest way to demote man’s best friend to the level of yard work was to assign the word “chore” to him. Walking our dogs and feeding out cats was, for her, an act of love—not remotely related to taking out the garbage or shoveling the driveway. Our dogs and cats were family, with nearly equal status as the two-footed relations (valued more highly than some). Taking care of them was a privilege, not a chore for kids. My siblings and I were allowed to do it, if we were good. We weren’t paid for it or punished with it.
In my mother’s house, the pets ate when we ate, lounged where we lounged. Mom cleaned up their “accidents” (and ours) with Pine Sol and patience. There was no swatting and no shaming, for man or beast.
My mom wasn’t the world’s most fastidious housekeeper, but fresh water in the dog bowls was sacrosanct. She wouldn’t go to bed until the pets’ water was topped off. On hot days, she added ice. When I grew up and she visited my house, I’d catch her eyeing the pet bowls. If they weren’t full, she’d cast a commiserative look at my pets and raise an eyebrow at me.
Since she was small, my own daughter has watched me walk our dogs (in sleet and wind), scoop cat litter, and keep the pet bowls filled. She frequently asks if she may pour out the kibble, hold the leash, or brush a shaggy coat. And whenever she draws pictures of her family, she always labels us: “Mommy, Daddy, Jazzy, Oyster, and me.”
MaryKat Parks Workinger is the editorial director of EduGuide.