ShortCuts in This Guide

• Help My Depressed Teen
  1. If your teenager is depressed, don’t ignore it. As soon as you can, find a quiet time to talk.
  2. In a loving yet direct way, tell your child which signs of depression you’ve noticed in him or her (see “Is It Depression or Typical Teenage Behavior?” for a list of the warning signs).
  3. Explain that depression is an illness—a disturbance of brain chemistry—and that a mental illness can be treated just like any other illness.
  4. Be positive. Reassure your child that mental health therapy is an effective treatment for depression. Explain that the best therapy is a combination of talk therapy and antidepressant drugs.
  5. Listen carefully and nonjudgmentally to your teen’s response. Take all the time you need to learn his or her perspective on the problem. Emphasize that the two of you will work together to come up with a plan that will help him or her feel better. Answer any questions your kid has about depression and its treatment.
  6. Work with your child to find treatment. Start with a visit to your family doctor to make sure that there isn’t another explanation for his or her behavior besides depression. Get a referral to a specialist in adolescent psychology. If your doctor can’t help, try a local hospital, social service agency, or community clinic.
  7. Make sure that your teen understands that it may take a while to find the combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant drugs that works best for him or her. Remind your child that he or she has already done the hardest part—recognizing depression and getting help for it—and that you’ll keep at it until he or she is back to normal.

• Help My Depressed Teen

  1. If your teenager is depressed, don’t ignore it. As soon as you can, find a quiet time to talk.
  2. In a loving yet direct way, tell your child which signs of depression you’ve noticed in him or her (see “Is It Depression or Typical Teenage Behavior?” for a list of the warning signs).
  3. Explain that depression is an illness—a disturbance of brain chemistry—and that a mental illness can be treated just like any other illness.
  4. Be positive. Reassure your child that mental health therapy is an effective treatment for depression. Explain that the best therapy is a combination of talk therapy and antidepressant drugs.
  5. Listen carefully and nonjudgmentally to your teen’s response. Take all the time you need to learn his or her perspective on the problem. Emphasize that the two of you will work together to come up with a plan that will help him or her feel better. Answer any questions your kid has about depression and its treatment.
  6. Work with your child to find treatment. Start with a visit to your family doctor to make sure that there isn’t another explanation for his or her behavior besides depression. Get a referral to a specialist in adolescent psychology. If your doctor can’t help, try a local hospital, social service agency, or community clinic.
  7. Make sure that your teen understands that it may take a while to find the combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant drugs that works best for him or her. Remind your child that he or she has already done the hardest part—recognizing depression and getting help for it—and that you’ll keep at it until he or she is back to normal.
• What Should Your Teen Do if a Friend Threatens Suicide?
  
  Your teenager isn’t suicidal (take the quiz “Is My Child Thinking of Suicide?” to learn suicide warning signs if you’re not sure) or depressed (see the ShortCut “Help My Depressed Teen: What to Do Right Now”). But he or she wants to talk about suicide. Perhaps a schoolmate committed suicide recently or suicide has been in the news lately. Or maybe one of your child’s friends has been talking about suicide. Your teen may be torn between loyalty to friend who has shared a secret and worry that the friend may actually carry out a suicide plan. Here’s how you can help.
  
  1. Ask your teen directly whether a friend has been hinting about killing him- or herself. Emphasize the importance of taking such suicide threats seriously.
  
  2. Make sure your teen understands that nearly all people who are suicidal suffer from a mental illness, most often depression. With mental health therapy, depression can be controlled. Without therapy a severely depressed teen may commit suicide.
  
  3. If your teen has a friend who is threatening to kill him- or herself, your child must take action. Yes, your child may be sharing a secret that he or she has promised not to tell. Teens who threaten suicide rarely complete their plan, but it does happen. Ask your child what is more important: breaking a promise or saving a life.
  
  4. When a friend threatens suicide, your teen should listen sympathetically, calmly, and without judgment. Your child should not make light of the friend’s problems or try to change the person’s mind.
  
  5. Then your teen must ask the friend three questions: How will you do it? Do you have what you need to carry out your plan? and When will do it? If the friend can answer these questions, your teen should call 911 and not leave him or her alone until help arrives.
  
  6. If the friend can’t answer the how, what, and when questions, suicide is still a very serious, if not immediate, risk. Your teen must tell a trusted adult such as a parent or teacher immediately. Yes, the friend will likely be angry. But after he or she has gotten help and is feeling better, the friend will be grateful that your child cared enough to do the right thing.
  
  
  Source
  Nancy Schimelpfening,
  http://depression.about.com/cs/suicideprevent/a/suicidal.htm
  
  

• What Should Your Teen Do if a Friend Threatens Suicide?

  
  Your teenager isn’t suicidal (take the quiz “Is My Child Thinking of Suicide?” to learn suicide warning signs if you’re not sure) or depressed (see the ShortCut “Help My Depressed Teen: What to Do Right Now”). But he or she wants to talk about suicide. Perhaps a schoolmate committed suicide recently or suicide has been in the news lately. Or maybe one of your child’s friends has been talking about suicide. Your teen may be torn between loyalty to friend who has shared a secret and worry that the friend may actually carry out a suicide plan. Here’s how you can help.
  
  1. Ask your teen directly whether a friend has been hinting about killing him- or herself. Emphasize the importance of taking such suicide threats seriously.
  
  2. Make sure your teen understands that nearly all people who are suicidal suffer from a mental illness, most often depression. With mental health therapy, depression can be controlled. Without therapy a severely depressed teen may commit suicide.
  
  3. If your teen has a friend who is threatening to kill him- or herself, your child must take action. Yes, your child may be sharing a secret that he or she has promised not to tell. Teens who threaten suicide rarely complete their plan, but it does happen. Ask your child what is more important: breaking a promise or saving a life.
  
  4. When a friend threatens suicide, your teen should listen sympathetically, calmly, and without judgment. Your child should not make light of the friend’s problems or try to change the person’s mind.
  
  5. Then your teen must ask the friend three questions: How will you do it? Do you have what you need to carry out your plan? and When will do it? If the friend can answer these questions, your teen should call 911 and not leave him or her alone until help arrives.
  
  6. If the friend can’t answer the how, what, and when questions, suicide is still a very serious, if not immediate, risk. Your teen must tell a trusted adult such as a parent or teacher immediately. Yes, the friend will likely be angry. But after he or she has gotten help and is feeling better, the friend will be grateful that your child cared enough to do the right thing.
  
  
  Source
  Nancy Schimelpfening,
  http://depression.about.com/cs/suicideprevent/a/suicidal.htm
  
  
• Help My Suicidal Teen
  
  Do you suspect that your teenager may be thinking of suicide? Talking about suicide with a child is painful and difficult, but you must begin the discussion immediately.
  
  

  1. Don’t worry about planting the idea of suicide in your child’s mind. You can’t do it if the thought isn’t there already. And if he or she is suicidal, getting the topic out in the open will be a relief.
  2. Ask directly, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” If the answer is yes, ask when and how your teen plans to do it.
  3. If your child has a timetable and a plan, do NOT let him or her out of your sight. Reassure your child of your love, explain that treatment will help him or her feel better, and call 911. Emergency workers will take your child to a safe place. Once he or she is out of immediate danger, you can get recommendations of health professionals who can provide the mental health therapy your child desperately needs.
  4. If your child hasn’t formed a definite suicide plan, which is likely, the situation is still quite serious. Your biggest job now is to listen: calmly, patiently, and without judgment. No matter how tempting it may be, don’t try to solve the problem or convince your teen that things aren’t really so bad.
  5. Since nearly all teens who attempt suicide suffer from a mental illness, most often depression, the next step is to get your child evaluated. Your family physician is a good place to start. You can also find help through a local mental health association or medical society, the psychiatry department of a hospital, a mental health center, or a social service agency.
      

  After your teen is evaluated, mental health professionals at these facilities can help your child begin a treatment plan. Help for your teenager is out there—and so is hope.
  

• Help My Suicidal Teen

  
  Do you suspect that your teenager may be thinking of suicide? Talking about suicide with a child is painful and difficult, but you must begin the discussion immediately.
  
  

  1. Don’t worry about planting the idea of suicide in your child’s mind. You can’t do it if the thought isn’t there already. And if he or she is suicidal, getting the topic out in the open will be a relief.
  2. Ask directly, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” If the answer is yes, ask when and how your teen plans to do it.
  3. If your child has a timetable and a plan, do NOT let him or her out of your sight. Reassure your child of your love, explain that treatment will help him or her feel better, and call 911. Emergency workers will take your child to a safe place. Once he or she is out of immediate danger, you can get recommendations of health professionals who can provide the mental health therapy your child desperately needs.
  4. If your child hasn’t formed a definite suicide plan, which is likely, the situation is still quite serious. Your biggest job now is to listen: calmly, patiently, and without judgment. No matter how tempting it may be, don’t try to solve the problem or convince your teen that things aren’t really so bad.
  5. Since nearly all teens who attempt suicide suffer from a mental illness, most often depression, the next step is to get your child evaluated. Your family physician is a good place to start. You can also find help through a local mental health association or medical society, the psychiatry department of a hospital, a mental health center, or a social service agency.
      

  After your teen is evaluated, mental health professionals at these facilities can help your child begin a treatment plan. Help for your teenager is out there—and so is hope.