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avatarLaurie
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how do i deal with my aspergers child?

My son is 9 yrs old and i find it difficult to control him can anyone help me?

Question applies to ages: 18

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avatarElizabeth.Johns
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Top 5 in: Choosing College, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Summer Learning and Camps, Teens and Jobs, Transitions and Readiness, Motivating StudentsTop 5 in 16 Topics		 I have a 16 year old son with Asperger's, who was diagnosed at age 6. While I don't know the specifics of your situation (for instance, what is he doing that you need to control) I can give you some general observations that might help.

The world seems to be throwing a lot at kids with Asperger's. They like to follow rules, but they may not know all the rules, especially the unspoken social rules, or, the rules in their head may be different from everyone else's rules. In addition, Asperger's kids often have lots of sensory issues. Tickles feel like needles, the hum of a fluorescent light sounds like an jet engine, and too many people in a room can feel like being buried alive. No wonder they lash out.

Things that helped my son (and me) included occupational therapy to deal with his sensory issues, working with counselors and social workers to provide more structure to his world, and for a while, medication under the care of a pyschiatrist.

Things like bouncing on a mini-trampoline after school or swinging on a swing helped him to decompress after school. Deep pressure hugs and even being wrapped tightly in a blanket like a burrito helped him feel calmer and less out of control. Trying to see the logic of his world made him feel more understood and removed many of the reasons for his tantrums and meltdowns.

For instance, once my son threw a huge tantrum because his dad asked to get dressed and then eat breakfast. I was able to calm him down and find out what was wrong. He explained that if he got dressed first, he might spill milk or juice on his clothes and have to get changed all over again. If he ate breakfast in his PJs, his clothes would be safe. That made perfect sense to me, so I said that he could eat first. But to him, with his Asperger's, all he knew what that he was supposed to do what his dad said, but what he dad said was illogical to him, so the only recourse was a tantrum. By taking three minutes to figure out his thought process, the crisis was averted.

If major meltdowns and tantrums are a big problem for your son, I would recommend the book, "The Explosive Child," by Ross Greene (I think). It's an excellent resource. If sensory issues are a problem, I recommend "The Out of Sync Child."


References:
mom to an Asperger's teenager
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