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I have a 17 year old boy and all he thinks about are girls and porn.

I have tryed to keep him away from it put nothing helps.Is this normale for a 17 year old boy.

Question applies to ages: 14, 18

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avatarElizabeth.Johns
# of Thumbs Up Received (76)
Top 5 in: Choosing College, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Summer Learning and Camps, Teens and Jobs, Transitions and Readiness, Motivating StudentsTop 5 in 16 Topics		 Thinking about girls is fine for a 17 year old boy. Looking at porn is not.

A previous poster received some good advice when her son was downloading porn: www.eduguide.org/Parents/Advice/tabid/180/qId/228/

Today's porn, especially what can be found online, is not simply a "Playboy" magazine. That's tame compared to what your son can find online, which is degrading and definitely not "normal." You need to let him know that what he is seeing does not realistically portray normal, healthy sexual relationships or regular, everyday people. You need to let him know that while his curiosity is normal, indulging in pornography is not the best way to satisfy that curiosity.

When my oldest son was about 15 or 16, my husband and I discovered him looking at some pornographic web sites. We talked to him about what that was wrong for him, and even worse, for his younger brothers to accidentally view. He lost computer privileges for a full month (although we did not tell his siblings why, they just knew he had done something wrong), and for several months thereafter, we closely monitored his internet history, cookies, and other evidence of his online activity. It took a while for him to regain our trust, but he has not returned to that activity again.

If "nothing helps" to keep your son away from porn, you may need to see a therapist who works with people who have addictions to things like pornography.

References:
mom of three teenage boys
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avatarBridgette
# of Thumbs Up Received (41)
Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 This is such a tough question. A lot of this is going to depend on what values your family has and what values you want your children to have.

Hormones run high at this age, but sex can also be a huge distraction and even dangerous. Developing a healthy attitude toward sex is extremely difficult--especially when pornography is involved.

It's also a difficult topic of conversation between parent and child. Elizabeth's suggestion of getting a therapist involved is a wonderful idea. It may even be helpful for you to see a counselor a few times to ask for advice on how to deal with your specific situation.

A counselor might be able to couch you in how to discuss the porn issue with your son. For what purposes is he using it? Is it a way to relieve tension? Is it a way of trying to find out about sex (and that's where some serious talk needs to happen given how unrealistic most porn is when it comes to sex)? Is it a fantasy fulfillment?

Your son is nearly an adult. This might be the time for a non-authoritarian discussion on why you feel the way you do about porn and what you consider a healthy attitude toward sex.

Good luck. I wish for you wisdom to find the right words when you have these conversations with your son.
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