The hardest times to be a parent are when you have no easy answers.
I learned that again a while ago when our family toured the famous Civil War battlefield of Gettysburg. What was supposed to be an educational excursion turned into an exercise in confusion for my then 9-year-old daughter.
"But why were they killing each other if they were all Americans?" she wanted to know.
The endless stories of war and violence eventually became too much for her. While we all listened to the battlefield tour guide, she escaped with the help of a portable CD player and headphones.
I didn't have any answers that a tender-hearted child could understand that day. And I don't have any when stories of school violence continue to shatter her world.
"But why would those kids want to do that?" she asks. "Can that happen anywhere?"
That's the question we all want answered, from the tiniest kindergartner to the toughest cop. Fortunately, I can tell my daughter that plenty of people are working to find out which kids may be at risk for committing violence and how we can identify them before they hurt others.
I can tell her that adults are beginning to pay more attention to kids whose behavior cries out for help; and they are starting to follow up on all threats of violence.
Resources for Parents
On the national scene, the U.S. Department of Education has prepared "Early Warning, Timely Response," a guide to help adults reach out to troubled children quickly and effectively. The Center for the Prevention of School Violence helps schools develop comprehensive, individual plans to become more safe and conducive to learning.
In Michigan, organizations from small public schools to the Michigan State University School of Criminal Justice are working on early warning and response efforts to prevent violence before it happens. Michigan Safe Schools provides a wealth of online resources to help communities prevent violence and protect kids.
The real answer, though, will be found a little closer to home. It will be found in places like community forums where caring adults and kids come together to help students cope with their fears and to develop plans to make their schools safer.
One approach is to engage students in forging the solutions. By starting local chapters of Students Against Violence Everywhere (SAVE), children and teens themselves encourage an attitude of nonviolence and promote conflict resolution.
Stay Involved
In the end, it’s everyone’s job to make schools safer and to prevent the kind of violence we see in schools. Research tells us that if they are to become emotionally healthy, no child should be allowed to be isolated or ignored. Families, neighbors, schools and others can reach out and show care for each child they meet — particularly those who behave poorly or hold themselves apart.
As parents, we need to stay connected with our children. We need to know what they are doing and what is bothering them. We need to help them experience a sense of connection to their schools by staying involved ourselves in their education. What’s more, by staying connected to our schools and churches, we as parents find the support we need to help our kids.
I still don't have all the answers for my daughter. But I want to tell her that her family, her school, and her community are working together to prevent it from happening here. Will you help?
Linda Wacyk is a former editor for EduGuide from Grand Ledge, Michigan. You can learn more about school safety by calling 1-800-832-2464.