Maybe you missed the calls from school. Maybe the school didn’t communicate clearly. Maybe a long, difficult academic struggle has finally become a crisis. Whatever the reason, your teen is on the verge of failure or says that he’s decided he is dropping out. How do you respond?
- Get a grip. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Avoid blaming yourself, your kid, or the school. You’ll be able to communicate better with your child and the school without pointing fingers. If you are worried about losing your temper, this ShortCut offers some good tips on communicating with a teen under pressure: “How to ‘Fight Fair’ with Your Teen.”
- Get the facts, if possible. Don’t browbeat or nag, but try to find out what’s in your kid’s head. Use open-ended comments such as “Tell me more…” or “I need more information…”
- Ask a counselor or an objective adult that you (and, with luck, your teen) trust to participate in the discussion if you can’t talk productively with your teen. (See the ShortCuts “Find a Middle and High School Professional You Can Trust” and “Get Help from a Mentor.”)
- Call the school to set up a meeting with the administration. Prepare ahead of time. What do you want to accomplish? What will the next steps be? Be prepared to listen without becoming hostile. (See the ShortCut “Be a Strong Advocate for My At-risk Teen.”)
- Explore options. Would a different type of high school education be better for your teen? Talk to your school’s guidance counselor to find out what options the district offers. (See the ShortCut “Find Educational Options for My At-risk Teen.”)
- Include your teen. Teens must be active participants in any decision about their future because they are the major stakeholders and need to own the solution.