Kids get hurt in lots of ways during the middle years. But sometimes knowing the odds can help you be better prepared for, or even prevent, the worst. Here are some of the biggest risks based on the hard numbers from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other sources. The good news: school fights and weapons have declined more than twenty-five percent in the last decade.
Sex
Odds: One in ten kids has had intercourse by age thirteen. Kids are bombarded with images of teens and sexuality through television, music, and electronic games without always hearing about the consequences to relationships and sexuality: pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional turmoil.
Antidote: The biggest factors in stopping teen sex are you and the clock. When you can’t be with your child, make sure he or she is with another adult. Get your son or daughter involved with a program after school, which is when kids are most likely to have sex.
Drugs
Odds: One in five kids has smoked tobacco and one in four kids has consumed alcohol by age thirteen. Studies have shown that use of drugs at this age greatly increases the possibility of other risky behavior and later substance abuse. Not concerned yet? Consider that one in ten students has already tried marijuana before entering high school.
Antidote: While your child deserves some privacy, if you suspect drug use, be a snoop. You may be the bad guy for a while, but it will pay off in the end. If you notice people abusing drugs in the media, ask your child why he or she thinks they’re doing it. Not getting through? See if your local police department or hospital has an educational program for kids. Sometimes shock is the most effective way to scare a child straight.
Depression
Odds: By ninth grade, one in four students has suffered from prolonged depression — feeling sad or helpless almost every day for at least two weeks in a row. How do you know when your child crosses the line from being in a funk to being seriously depressed? That can be tough.
Antidote:Watch for signs. Typically the first is a lack of interest in activities your kid used to enjoy. Other warning signs include a change in sleep patterns, irritability, loss of appetite, significant weight gain or loss, and risky behavior like having sex and abusing drugs. Ask teachers if they’ve noticed anything different or if his or her work habits have changed. Still unsure? Enlist the help of a school counselor or a mental health professional.
Boredom
Odds: One in three kids report that they’re bored in school. So what? Well, bored kids are more likely to get in trouble and act out in the classroom. Some kids get bored because they’re struggling with difficult subjects or tasks. They find it too painful to do the work. High potential students get bored with work that does not challenge them. Both types may drop out for real when they hit high school if they don’t get help.
Antidote: Talk to your kids about what being bored really means. For a struggling student, look for tutors and work with teachers and counselors to pinpoint the problem. For instance, some kids have lots of great ideas but fall apart trying to put those ideas on paper. For a gifted student, ask the school about changing courses and finding more challenges both during and after school.
Cheating
Odds: One in two kids say they have cheated on schoolwork in one form or another. If your child hasn’t, one of his friends probably has. It’s not surprising, given our culture of winning by any means in sports, politics, and business. But cheating not only means he or she will learn less now; cheating could lead to other forms of lying and stealing that will burn your kid later.
Antidote: Lead by example. Show your child how doing your own work is satisfying to you. Coach him on homework, but keep the ball in his or her court. Reward your kid when he or she does well on a test or learns something new, even if he doesn’t score a perfect A. You can also point out examples in the news about cheaters who get caught.