If your son is being bullied at school, there are actions you and the school can take to remedy the problem. Here’s what you need to know about getting help for your son and about school policies for preventing bullying.
Stop Bullying Now
- Set up a meeting. First meet with the appropriate teachers and the principal as soon as you can and have your child explain what is happening to him. If you don’t think your concerns are being taken seriously enough, contact the school counselor and superintendent and meet with them.
- Take notes. At the meeting, record everything the school personnel promises to do. Before the meeting ends, repeat your list of expectations and make sure everyone agrees.
- Ask about the bully. Be sure the school is also meeting with the bully and his parents. Ask what type of punishment he will receive and what the next step will be if the bullying happens again. Follow up to make sure the school is executing its plan.
- Consider counseling. If the school has a counselor on staff, have your son meet with him or her. You may want to be present for the first meeting and then let your son meet with the counselor independently. Also ask what type of counseling is available for the bully and suggest that the bully’s parents be informed about counseling.
- Write a letter. If you’ve contacted the school and met with administrators and the bullying continues, write a letter to the superintendent and copy the teacher, principal, and counselor. Include copies of any evidence (notes, emails, photos) of the bullying.
- Be persistent. Be your son’s advocate and do your best to protect him from the effects of bullying. Contact the administrators as many times as necessary if your concerns are not being addressed and the problem continues.
- Be informed. Learn the anti-bullying laws in your state.
- Contact the bully’s parents. Discussing the problem with the bully’s parents may be very helpful, but only if you are calm and reasonable.
- Find a safe person. Identify at least one person at school (a teacher, principal, or staff assistant) that your child can go to at any time if he needs to.
Prevent Bullying before It Starts
- Bully prevention. Many schools have adopted bully prevention programs and have trained teachers to stop bullying before it starts. Find out what type of training your school is providing.
- Training for parents. Are parents encouraged to be involved in bullying prevention? If not, suggest that the school bring in guest speakers and conduct anti-bullying workshops for parents.
- Help for bystanders. Teaching kids to speak up and help when their classmates are being bullied is tough to do. Be sure your school offers training for all students so they know what to do if they witness bullying.
- Security. Be sure your school has working security cameras throughout the school that are checked regularly. In addition, school personnel should routinely check hallways and bathrooms to make sure all areas of the school are safe.
- Shop around. If you’re researching new schools, do your homework before you meet with administrators. Look for schools and teachers who reward children for being kind and have zero tolerance for bullying. Ask specific questions about bullying, such as What is your policy on bullying? and How are kids who bully punished?