Moving can be a source of parent stress, but don't forget your kids. It causes stress in children, too. To ease the transition for you and for your children, these family ideas may help.
- Look ahead--Keep kids focused on the future and on the positive aspects of moving, such as a new school, bigger bedroom, new sports, etc. Get photos of the new community. Visit the schools.
- Look back--Assure your children that they can write and call their friends. This comforts children even though pen pal relationships may not last and the excitement of a new room eventually will wear off. Look for other benefits to take their place.
- Get connected--Membership in a church or other civic group can offer a constant source of support for families. It also helps them to feel grounded in a community. Involvement in volunteer organizations and at the local school also supplies a feeling of "connectedness."
- Look for a newcomer's club--Although there is no formal worldwide organization of staff, groups formed on the grassroots level exist in many towns. Some corporations that frequently transfer their employees support the local chapters for their workers' benefit. Others sponsor their own organization to help people with the traumas of moving. They often are run by people who have been residents so long that they are no longer considered newcomers by the community. They understand what an enriching experience it is to get to know families with very different backgrounds.
- Choose a neighborhood where other new families might move. People are not intentionally hostile to newcomers, but they tend to be more comfortable in their established social and family circles. Welcoming a new family is more effort than some people are willing to make, especially if they've never themselves been the "new kids on the block."
- Get school-savvy--Enroll early in the school your children will attend. Bring birth certificates, immunization records and the address of their former school with when you enroll. Most districts are proud of their programs, so principals may warn that your children may be "behind" their students. Don't automatically assume it's true; ask for placement tests or bring examples of their work.
Pat Matuszak is a parent and freelance writer in Rockford, Michigan.