Goal Setting and Success: Family Ideas for Children's Chores

"Be careful, you're going to cut yourself!"

"Here, let me do that, you're too small."

Have you ever spoken these words to your child? Sometimes it's just easier to do a job yourself. We tend to rush through our tasks and brush our children off when they offer their help. We also know what might happen if we let children play with dad's toolbox or fill a pot with soil: they will leave a mess for us to clean up.

In today's busy lives, a good way to spend time together is by letting our children help with everyday tasks. Kids want to feel helpful and productive.

They feel proud to help out, no matter how small the chore. Finishing a task to the best of their ability does wonders for your child's confidence.

Little by little, children gain the skills that will lay the groundwork for future accomplishments. After all, children learn by doing. When they have no chance to test their skills, they can feel unchallenged and unimportant.

Try assigning some of these jobs, and watch your child's pride grow:

• Picking up toys and putting them in a toy box is a simple task for toddlers; they love repetition. Watch their faces light up when they're rewarded with a "you did it!" every time another toy makes it into the box.

   

• Preparing food gives children many ways to help out at mealtime. Tearing lettuce into bite-sized pieces or squirting ketchup onto everyone's plate are safe, simple tasks that require little supervision. As your child grows, ask him to help you with things that are a little above his skill level. This offers a challenge and a great feeling of accomplishment once he masters the task. It also teaches him that failure can be a learning experience. Be sure to end each hard job with a small success, so your child carries away a positive feeling.

   

• A trip to the grocery store is a great time to learn letters and numbers. Ask your children to find the price of their favorite cookies. Stop at the dairy section and see if they can name items starting with the letter "M." Get younger children thinking by asking them what animal lays eggs or if chocolate milk comes from a brown cow.

   

• Expect your child to complete a small chore each day, such as making his or her bed (it doesn't have to be perfect) or putting away laundry. Children often forget their chores in the chaos of the morning rush or during their busy day. They may need a gentle reminder. "Run upstairs and make your bed, then we'll leave for the park" is more effective than "We're not going to the park until you make your bed!" Sometimes the bed will be made just minutes before bed time, but soon the message will sink in that it still needs to be done every day. Before long, a reminder will no longer be necessary.

   

• Involve children in family decision-making through monthly meetings. Ask their opinions and seriously consider them. Discuss their suggestions and put their ideas into action if everyone agrees. Decisions like where you will go on vacation or whose turn it is to feed the dog are better made when everyone is able to have a say.

Promote a feeling of family unity by letting children of all ages help in everyday tasks, no matter how small. When you help your child feel accepted and respected, he will always have a wonderful sense of being an important part of a strong family unit.