Two generations on the family tree separate me from my granddaughter, Gracie. Add to that the gender difference and 1,500 miles of prairies and mountains and you can see why I sometimes wonder if I will be able to relate to her.

Besides that, I'm new at this grandparenting business.

Gracie was almost 3 the last time we visited her. She's always been an explorer and we were tempted to try to relate to her by buying a bunch of educational toys and toddlers' games we could explore together. And we did some of that.

But she was just as happy inspecting a bug in her sandbox as she was exploring a new toy. It was more important to be there with her, doing what she wanted to do with things she wanted to use, than it was to be showing her new stuff.

We gave the family ideas of time and attention My arthritic joints won't let me enjoy fun family activities on the floor, like her mom and dad can. However, I did get down on the floor and watch and talk while she played.

I also was able to sit and listen as she played her music on a small CD player. She needed me to put the discs on and take them off. Mom and Dad didn't have the time to do that for very long and I did.

The same thing was true with her computer games. She wasn't able to play the games without supervision and Mom and Dad couldn't free up that kind of time nearly as easily as I could. So she sat on my lap as we played one otherwise boring game after another. Her curiosity made the games interesting.

Since we don't get to see her as often as we would like, every moment spent with her is an important step on the road to getting to know her, bonding with her and enjoying her.

We Let Gracie Run The Show

The most memorable moment of our visit took place one warm afternoon when her mom said we could take a walk --just Gracie and Grandpa. I had dreams of a long walk when we could talk, see new things and just have fun together.

We went out hand-in-hand through the backyard gate and into a public path that stretches for miles. Growing along both sides of the trail, as far as one can see, were wild blackberry bushes.

We didn't get more than 25 feet into our walk when Gracie spotted the blackberries. We spent the next 10 to 15 minutes picking and eating the fruit. Mostly she picked and ate while I watched.

When she finished, we started walking again, hand-in-hand. We crossed a nearby street (after carefully looking both ways for cars). There she spotted dandelions in the grass between a sidewalk and the curb.

I wanted to move along so the two of us could get some exercise and see new things, but she wanted to pick dandelions. So she picked dandelions while I watched, doing my best to stand between her and the street.

I suggested a couple times that maybe she had enough dandelions and it was time to get on with our walk. It fell on deaf ears. She knew when her task was done -- knew it better than any grandpa almost 25 times her age -- and she knew it wasn't yet.

Finally, she did finish. But by then our walking time was up. Supper would soon be on the table. So we headed back together, hand-in-hand, carrying dandelions all the way so she could present her "pretty flowers" to her mother.

Not much had gone the way I had dreamed. We hadn't done any of the exciting things I had planned we would do. We never had the great conversation I had thought we might or saw the wonderful new things I had hoped we would see. The expensive toys were right where they had been ignored that morning. In their place we had dandelions and blackberries.

But I will remember that walk for the rest of my life. I hope Gracie will, too.


Don Lindman is a grandpa and freelance writer in Batavia, IL.