Parenting. I’m starting to feel like an expert in child development stages. Don’t get me wrong; I’m no parent. I’m not a teacher, either, or in any job that puts me in a room with kids every day. In fact, I don’t even plan on having kids for another seven or eight years.
So why am I fluent in baby talk? How do I know the best tickling spots? Why do I know the easiest way to learn fractions? Why can I read kindergarten handwriting?
I’m a sister.
As parents, you’re well aware that parenting is not a job you do alone. You have doctors, teachers, friends, family and even strangers telling you how to feed, clothe, discipline and love your child. You’ve probably poured over books and magazines to see if your baby is bright enough, strong enough and lively enough. It’s probably enough to make you tired just thinking about it!
Want some developmental learning help for the long haul? Enlist your kid’s siblings. Trust me, it works. And the true beauty of it? If they refuse, you can take away TV privileges.
When my brother, David, was born, raising him became a family affair. I remember letting my parents and sister eat dinner while I stood behind him as he climbed the stairs. Up and down, up and down, and if I tried to pry him away I was reprimanded with a heart-wrenching howl. So I carried on, stomach growling and arms outstretched in case his tiny legs wobbled off the edge.
My sister, who weighed about 80 pounds, would pace the house holding a very large David in front of her, bouncing and swinging to baby tunes. With our brother, rest was not an option.
Why did we give up Saturday parties and lazy weekend mornings to follow our brother’s every whim? Simple: We had to. No, our parents were not ogres who lounged while we changed diapers and read plastic, cookie-covered books. But we were expected to help out with the family, and David was certainly the most pressing chore.
In middle and high school, lugging around a crying child and canceling plans with friends may have seemed like a major drag, but we’re finding out that the benefits are for a lifetime. Now that we're in college, both my sister and I can barely go a day without hearing from David. He’s clearly the highlight of our lives. In fact, on a date last weekend I bored my poor companion nearly to tears with anecdotes from my sweet, energetic brother.
Besides watering down hot dates, being pushed to help care for my brother has taught me invaluable lessons.
- Teaching equals learning. I can recite the states and their capitals and tell you what a “dangling modifier” is because I taught them to David.
- A growing child is far more fascinating than any weekend college party in my experience. (Being a part of the growth process is substantially more rewarding, too!)
- I now know what parenting is all about and I know that I’m not ready for it yet. Had I not helped raise a child, I might have thought I was ready for one of my own. (Thank goodness for lesson 3!)
- I’ve realized the importance of family. You’ve got to stick together. Who else is going to change your diapers, help you through those awful middle-school trends, come to your basketball games and, in the end, love you just as much as when they first met you?
So rally the troops from their video games and chat rooms. Declare that they’re the newly appointed entertainment for all younger siblings, and that someday, they’ll appreciate it.
Take it from a sister who’s sure.
Lisa Hayes is a freelance writer.