What should you do if you notice your son acting like a bully or if a teacher, neighbor, or another kid’s parent tells you that your son is bullying someone? These suggestions can help:
  • Listen with open ears. When a teacher or another parent describes your son’s bullying behavior, it’s natural for you to react defensively or deny that your child is capable of bullying. But it’s important to take a deep breath and really listen to what the person has to say. Ask questions to gain understanding—not to prove the other person wrong.
  • Keep things in perspective. When talking to the parents of the victim, discuss the issue in a mature, respectful way. It is appropriate to say, for example, “Please don’t label my child or call him names. Just explain what happened.” Remember that this discussion is about the well-being of the victim. It’s not an attack on your parenting skills.
  • Try to be understanding. Your son’s adolescent behaviors may come from feeling vulnerable, as ironic as it seems. Try to discover what might be going on in his life that causes him to bully. Has there been a major change or a death in your family? Are there other family pressures he might be reacting to? Stress in children can change their behavior drastically.
  • Teach control. When you discuss your son’s behavior with him, don’t blame him. Emphasize that he is responsible for his own behavior and that anger in children is a normal feeling everyone experiences but one we must learn to control. Teach your son alternative ways to deal with aggression, such as shooting hoops in the driveway to work off excess energy (this will be more effective if you join him) or spending some time alone listening to music or meditating to relieve stress.
  • Reinforce kindness. Encourage your son (and help him) to do one nice thing for three different people every day, such as helping tutor a younger student, doing a chore for a neighbor, or phoning a grandparent. This exercise helps shift the mind from negative behavior to positive behavior, and it can be very effective. Be sure to model kindness yourself.
  • Seek help. If you believe that your son is bullying other boys, get help for him as soon as possible. Meet with his pediatrician or family doctor, teachers, school counselor, or principal to create a plan to help your son work through his problems and get to the root of the bullying. If the bullying persists and all parties agree that he needs professional help, ask his doctor to recommend a therapist in your area who specializes in adolescents, preferably one who has had experience treating bullying.


Sources:
aacap.org
EduGuide (articles on file)
kidshealth.org
education.com