Here are four opportunities for you to spend time with your teen and help him or her understand that being healthy, thinking well of oneself, and having fun are more important to happiness than looking perfect (whatever that is).

Shop Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Check your teen’s comfort level as he or she tries on clothes. Is your teen self conscious about his or her body? Does he or she criticize every item, even if it looks fantastic?
  • Model positive behavior. Take this opportunity to show your optimistic side. Don’t criticize clothing you try on by saying it makes you look fat or old. Focus on the good points, for example, how a sweater matches your eyes.
  • Start a conversation. Use the time together to talk about what your teen’s peers are wearing. Often conversations about something as simple as clothes can open up discussions about risky teenage behavior friends engage in (drinking, drugs, eating disorders).

Exercise Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Is he or she having fun? Is your teen giving the activity his or her best effort?
  • Model positive behavior. Take turns picking the form of exercise and be upbeat about the choice, even if it isn’t something you enjoy. If you complain about exercising, you increase the chances that your teen will complain about working out next time.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about the importance of exercise to overall health. Exercise usually gives people more energy, so celebrate your teen’s increased energy if you observe it.

Cook Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. If you’re worried that he or she is eating too little or making poor food choices, note what your kid eats as you’re working in the kitchen together. You may be surprised by what you see.
  • Model positive behavior. If you choose recipes your family enjoys that include plenty of veggies and lean meats, chances are your teen will buy into the idea.
  • Start a conversation. Talk about healthful food choices at home and at school. Try to get your teen to open up about what everyone is (or isn’t) eating at the school lunch table.

Look Through Fashion or Muscle Magazines Together

  • Observe your teen’s behavior. Does he or she constantly mention longing to look like the celebrities in the magazines? Or does your teen think the models look unhealthy? Pay close attention to what he or she likes about the models: their hair, weight, clothes, and so on.
  • Model positive behavior. It’s OK to say you like certain things about the models in the magazines, but don’t compare yourself (or your teen) to the unrealistic images you see on the pages.
  • Start a conversation. This is a perfect opportunity to talk about what makes teens feel good and bad about themselves. List the positive and negative qualities you see in the models, and mention how much time (and photo retouching) it took to make them look as they do.