You’re tired and cranky and your child is jumping on the bed instead of sleeping. You’d like a few moments’ peace before turning in for the night yourself.
Has nighttime become filled with tears, anger and parent stress instead of funny bedtime stories and cuddles? If so, you’re not alone.
Insufficient Sleep Can Cause Stress in Children
According to experts and child development research, children between ages two and three need an average of 12 or 13 hours of sleep, plus an hour or two of naps during the day. Your child is an individual, however, and his needs may be different.
Sleep needs can change often during child development stages, depending on the toddlers' activities, general health, and growth rate. Many children this age are ready to give up daytime naps — almost. It can be tricky to balance naps with bedtime, and parents may be tempted to put a tired child down for a nap, even knowing that it can delay bedtime by hours.
Follow your child’s lead, within reason. If it takes over an hour to transition to bed, you might want to try moving bedtime an hour later.
To find out how much sleep your child needs, let him wake up on his own for a few days. He may stay asleep for only nine hours instead of the average amount, but don’t worry. If he’s healthy and alert during the day, he’s getting enough sleep and you’ll know what to expect.
If your child seems ready to give up naps, let him. Give him quiet activities during his usual naptime so he can rest without sleeping.
Why Won't He Go To Sleep?
You might think your child fights bedtime just because he’s stubborn, but there may be other reasons. Children this age are busy, curious and active. It always seems there’s just one more thing they want to do before bedtime. Your child will need your help with winding down to a more relaxed, quieter mood.
Your child may simply be trying to spend more time with you. Finding time to be together is tough when both parents work outside the home. Having time one-on-one with parents is important too, especially if you have other children. Fortunately, all these needs are met during a bedtime routine.
Set a Bedtime Routine
For a bedtime routine to work well, you should begin at the same time each night, even on weekends. Do what’s best for your child — the order or choice of activity doesn’t matter, as long as it’s consistent.
The key is to make bedtime fun, something to look forward to each night. If the child has plenty of time to relax, and knows what to expect, he may be less likely to fight going to bed.
Beware, though, of making the routines long and detailed or too strict. Your child’s bedtime routine should be the shortest, simplest set of activities that does the job. And while it’s important to stick to a regular routine, your child should also learn that it’s OK to make small changes now and then.
You might have a shorter routine for times when you’re in a hurry or are feeling more tired than usual. You also should teach other adults the routine, in case you’re sick or busy.
Satisfy Physical Needs
See that he isn’t hungry, thirsty, or won’t need to get up and use the potty. Give him water in a cup that won’t leak. (Milk and juice at night are bad for the teeth!)
Many children enjoy a “lovey,” or a favorite object to snuggle with. This can be a stuffed animal, blanket or even a piece of your clothing. Although loveys can get lost, they can really help a child to settle in for the night, even away from home.
Bedtime doesn’t have to be a battle. Knowing your child and his needs can help you set up a regular routine your child can expect. Make it fun, but keep it simple and allow for changes when you need them. Teach him that settling into bed can bring loving rewards, and you might find that it’s one of the very best parts of your day.
Pamela Kock is a freelance writer from Liberty Township, Ohio.