What I Learned the Hard Way about Real Friends

As part of a new curriculum initiative for the High School EduGuide publication, EduGuide challenged high school English classes to think about the adivce they would give to younger students. We asked them to write about it by telling others "what I learned the hard way."   Chelsey Daniels responded to the challenge. We liked it so much, we’ve published it on our new website. Thanks, Chelsey for being an EduGuide.

A few years ago, I became friends with a group of people whom I was never friends with before. I heard a lot of rumors about these people, but I became friends with them anyway. I trusted these kids and opened up to them, which was the wrong thing to do. I was always there for my friends, no matter what. However, they ended up telling all my secrets and personal business. They spread horrible rumors about me. I was there for them and in the end, they all betrayed me.

I made a huge mistake by becoming friends with all the wrong people. I should have never trusted these people, nor opened up to them. I didn’t know them very well; I had only heard rumors about them. I was friends with bad people and I decided it was time to change that. I quit being friends with everyone. Now I’ll get to know people better before I become friends with them; I’ll choose my friends more carefully. I’ll stay away from people who have a bad reputation. To do this, I wrote a list of my friends and all of their qualities. I picked out the friends that I thought were real and I quit being friends with the ones who weren’t.

Therefore, my advice to you is choose your friends carefully and don’t trust people that you don’t know very well. Only tell your secrets to people that you know you can trust. Always trust your instincts, they are usually right. Don’t become friends with bad people. Not all friends will be true to you.
           

You’ll find out who your real friends are if you take the time to observe each individual person. You can start by using the checklist below to determine what characteristics each of your friends have. Then you can decide which ones are the most important to you in a friendship. These will be the characteristics that you want your friends to have. You can then decide which friends will be your real ones and which ones won’t.

• Reputation. Before you become friends with someone, find out what type of reputation they have. Find out what other people think of them to see if they are liked or disliked by many. A person’s reputation can tell you a lot about them.
• Qualities. Take time to decide what qualities each of your friends have. Knowing their qualities will help you decide what friends will be your real ones. People that have bad qualities will most likely be a bad person and an untrue friend.
• Background. Know the family and friendship history of your friend. Get to know their past relationships. Find out if they have been in trouble with the law and if they have any charges or convictions on their record.
• Choose your friends carefully. Get to know people before you become friends with them. Don’t be friends with people that have a bad reputation. You shouldn’t become friends with some random person that you know nothing about. Observe people and you will learn a lot about them.
• Trust. Don’t trust your friends until they have proven their trust to you. Only tell your secrets to people that you know you can trust. Trusting the wrong people can cause many problems for you. There will always be people that you can’t trust.
• Always trust your instincts. Follow your heart and do what you believe is the right thing to do. If you believe a person is bad and will be untrue to you, then stay away from them. Your instincts are usually right, so you should trust them. 

Chelsey Daniels is a junior at Volinia Outcomes School in Marcellus, Michigan.

Was Chelsey’s article helpful? Post a comment to let her know.