 Jenny.eduguide
 (90)
 Top 5 in 15 Topics |
It is my opinion that you should most definitely know that BEFORE you decide to get married. Kids are very good judges of character and if, for whatever reason, a child doesn't like their prospective step-parent, you'd better remedy that before there is ever a marriage.
When I first met my husband he had a 4-year-old daughter and I fell in love with not just him, but her also. It wouldn't have been fair to have given her anything less than the love and devotion I gave him. I also told my family that if they treated her like anything other than my daughter, we'd stop coming around. (That was never an issue, just an anticipated concern that any good parent would have).
If it isn't obvious whether or not this child likes his/her step-parent, then maybe you haven't spent enough time around each other to be ready for marriage.
But, to answer your question, if the child is asking the "step-parent" to do things usually designated as the "real" parent's job, then that's an excellent sign. For example, if she wants the step-parent to tuck her in or read her a bedtime story, then she's sold. If there is no real connection or interaction, then I'd be concerned. But this goes both ways too. How does the step-parent react to these requests? Is he/she overly eager or dismissive? If she/he is anything less then their normal self, then that should raise a big red flag.
Sure, it is very important that the child love the step-parent, but children are so accepting, I think the real question is does the step-parent love the child?
References:
"Step"-mom to a 16-year-old who thanks God for me everyday, and me her. |