We’ve all heard stories about children who misuse the telephone: children accidentally calling 911 or telling callers embarrassing stories about showers and bathrooms.

Yet sometime during the preschool years, you will want to teach your child to use the phone properly. Once they understand the phone is not a toy, preschoolers can learn to use good telephone manners — and to use the phone for safety.

How do we teach our young children to use the phone in a proper way? How do we teach them what to do in an emergency? And most of all, how do we teach them to remember their own phone number? Here are a few methods to try. 

Is She Ready?

First, it's important that your child can recognize the numbers one through 10. Once she can recognize a written numeral he is capable of using a touch-tone phone.

Second, this is a training process, much like potty training. Be patient. Praise good phone behavior and calmly fix bad phone behavior.

Third, your child needs to understand that the phone is not a toy. It’s an adult tool meant to be taken seriously and used according to your rules.

Here are some tips:

  • Learn important numbers first. There are two or three phone numbers every child should know: home phone, the local emergency phone number and your cell phone number, if you have one. Explain to your children when and why they should use these phone numbers. If they are lost or in trouble when away from home, they will need to have their phone number memorized so they can tell a safe grown-up how to reach their parents. Teach them that the emergency number is never to be used unless someone is hurt or in danger and the grown-up in the house cannot get to the phone.
  • Learn first to dial your home phone. Some children are excellent at memorizing numbers. Others need to picture the numbers before they can learn them. A combination of both tactics will usually ensure success. Here’s a game that may help.
  • Play the pretend phone game.  Write your phone number on a piece of paper so your child can refer to the numbers he is dialing. Use a toy phone or draw a copy of a keypad on a piece of paper. Have your child dial the phone number while looking at the numbers, and then have your child try to remember the number and dial it without looking at the phone number. Once your child can remember the phone number, reward him by letting him dial your home phone from a cell phone or a friend or relative’s home.
  • Practice makes perfect. To help your child learn the phone number so he can repeat it, ask him to repeat the phone number to you at least once a day. He will need to repeat it several times in the beginning. Make up a tune or a rhythm to go along with your phone number. To test his recall skills surprise your child by asking him to repeat the number at odd times: meal time, in the car, while playing.

Make sure that your phones are accessible to your older preschoolers. Point out payphones when out in public and maybe even practice using a payphone with your child.

Good Telephone Manners

We have all called someone and had a child answer the phone, only to be left hanging on the line never to hear from a living soul. I must admit that training my child not to discuss his life story with callers has been a challenge.

A few skills you may want to work on with your child before allowing her to answer the phone or make phone calls on a regular basis. Again, you can practice these skills by playing phone games with your child on toy phones or on multiple phones in your home:

  • Teach a proper greeting. “Hello, may I ask who this is?” (You may have to settle for a “who is this?” at first). “I will get my mom or dad.” If you can’t come to the phone at that moment, tell your child to ask the caller to call back in a few moments. Odds are they won’t remember the name of the caller. If the caller is calling back remind them to hang up the phone.
  • Speak clearly. Some children get shy and speak too quietly, or not at all, when they use the phone. Help them learn how to speak clearly into the phone, especially if you receive important phone calls in your home.
  • Use indoor voices. Don’t let your child yell into the receiver. I have had a perfect greeting from a child only to have them yell repeatedly into my ear as they call for their parents.
  • Set answering limits. If you are expecting a professional call, you may want to tell your child that he needs to let you answer the phone because you are expecting an important call.
  • Set time limits. Do not let her chatter endlessly when she does answer. If someone other than a friend or relative is asking your child too many questions, it could lead to safety problems. Plus most callers do not want to be subjected to stories on the latest addition to the toy box.
  • Teach your child to wait patiently. Somehow children always need your undivided attention the moment the phone rings. A preschooler is old enough to understand that he needs to wait to speak with you until after the phone call is finished. Unless the house is on fire or your toddler is playing in the toilet, he needs to learn to respect your phone time. Just remember to focus on his needs when you are finished talking. 

Create a Phone Book

Once your child has mastered some phone skills, you may want to teach him other important phone numbers (steer clear of long distance phone numbers).

Laminate a small phone book with pictures of friends and relatives and their phone numbers. This will allow the child to have access to grandparents or friends. Make sure you establish clear rules about asking permission, times to call and how long he can talk on the phone.

The phone is a wonderful, mysterious little box that holds all kinds of fun opportunities for your child. She sees you spend hours on it. Just remember to have patience. There will be mishaps, missed calls, and embarrassing moments. Don’t worry; it will pass, and she will learn to use the phone, just as she will learn to drive someday.

 

Rachelle Hughes is a freelance writer and the mother of two children in Utah.