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avatar Anonymous

how do i get my 3 year old to stop swearing



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avatarElizabeth.Johns
# of Thumbs Up Received (76)
Top 5 in: Choosing College, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Summer Learning and Camps, Teens and Jobs, Transitions and Readiness, Motivating StudentsTop 5 in 16 Topics		 3 year olds are little parrots--they repeat what they hear. So one way to get your child to stop swearing is to make sure that the adults (and older kids) in your family are not swearing. You may be surprised at the words that come out of your own mouth.

I remember when my 16 year old was about 3, I had a car that often stalled at traffic lights. One day, when my husband was in the car with me and my preschooler was in the back seat, the car stalled, and this little voice in the back said "Oh, S*IT!" My husband looked at me, then asked my son, "What did you say?" And he replied, "Dat's what mommy always says when the car dies." Oops! Guilty as charged. You can bet I started watching my mouth after that incident. (Years later, I realized that that I said the word "d*mn" too much when my 4 year old daughter told me, "just read me the d*mn book!")

3 year olds also like getting attention from adults--positive or negative, and spouting swear words certainly does get a response! I think after determining where your child is picking up the swear words and eliminating them from his hearing, the next step is to tone down any reaction from you when he does say them. Remain calm, and let him know that those are not nice words and that there are others that are better to say.

Have some fun coming up with your own family "swear" words that are more appropriate than the ones your child is saying. Dagnabbit, tarnation, dingleberry, sha-na-na, whatever works for you. (One of my mom friends says "shitake mushroom" which starts out as a swear word and keeps on going to become an acceptable word.)

Here is a link to a good article on 3 years olds and swearing:
parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/0,,4898,00.html

Good luck. Trust me, as the parent of kids from 18 to 6, this is going to be a recurring problem, but it's a lot easier to deal with at 3 than at 13.

References:
mom of four, reformed swearer
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avatarJulie.Spencer
# of Thumbs Up Received (4)		 Make sure there are no other people in the child's life who are swearing. My sister once said "I swear in front of my children all the time, but they KNOW that THEY are not allowed to swear." I disagree with my sister. Kids speak the words they hear. Especially at such a young age when they are still learning their 'new' language. Don't be afraid to chastise family members or friends. Just say 'please don't swear in front of my children'. Most of the time other adults don't even realize they are swearing because it becomes very much a part of their everyday language. Even when people take the Lord's name in vain in front of me, I'll say something like 'He's wonderful, isn't he?' People look at me like I've got two heads, but the message becomes loud and clear. I don't appreciate their words and they get the picture and learn not to swear in front of Julie!

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Wife and mother of three children 16, 10 and 8.
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avatarBridgette
# of Thumbs Up Received (41)
Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 It's a tough one, isn't it? As Elizabeth and Julie said--monitoring the language people use around the children is a first good step. Keep in mind, though, that your child hears language from places other than you. Is there a television that is on when your three-year-old is around? What language is used in the shows? How about the radio? Video clips on the Internet?

Also, children like reactions and will use language to get reactions. There is an article by Dr. Brazelton on the topic in the EduGuide library here that I really liked and you might find helpful as well:

When-Children-Use-Foul-Language-1796

Good luck!
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