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avatar Anonymous

How do I get my grandaughter to study?

I've been raising my 18 yr old grandaughter since she was 4. I'm a widow and an old age pensioner. She is going into 2nd yr of college and only gets fair marks but manages to pass her subjects. She just doesn't study enough. She also needs to study to get her driver's licence but again she won't study for that. When I ask her to get studying, she tells me to just leave her alone. I don't want to support her forever, she needs to study to get through college and get a job. She would rather spend time including overnights with her boyfriend. What can I do? Just leave her alone?

Question applies to ages: 18

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avatarLiz
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Safety # of Thumbs Up Received (1)		 I'm assuming your granddaughter lives with you for free and that you are paying at least part of the cost of her education, so am answering based on that.

I think it wold be a good idea to talk with her and remind her, once again, how important getting a good education is, especially in today's world. For the few available jobs, employers won't be hiring graduates who barely made it through - they can hire whomever they want. Also remind her that she's getting a really good deal by living with you and not paying rent. In return, you expect her to live up to what's expected of her -- which is to get the most out of her education and show that she is by getting good grades.

It sounds as if there are no consequences for her not studying or not doing well in school. You need to set those rules down, and stick with them. For instance, maybe one is that she can continue to live with you as long as she's maintaining a certain grade level (say, a 2.5 or better) and for up to six months after she graduates. But if her grades fall below a 2.5, she has to pay you rent. And once she graduates, she needs to find a job and start paying her share of your overall expenses.

At 18, your granddaughter is a legal adult. She clearly wants to make her own decisions and spend time the way she wants. So give her the opportunity to experience the other part of adulthood -- taking responsibility for herself and accepting consequences for her actions. Those are two of the most important lessons you can help her learn.

It's good that you can see what the problem is, and are willing to help her. Good luck!
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