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avatar Anonymous

How should I talk to my parents about my stress with homework and babysitting my siblings? What are some ways to relieve this stress?

I have dropped out of all after-school activities to babysit my siblings while my parents are at work.
The teachers give me too much homework to keep up with.
I have no true weekend. All I ever do on the weekends is babysit and do homework.
My life is a train-wreck!!! HELP!!!

Question applies to ages: 13, 14, 15, 16

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avatarJenny.eduguide
# of Thumbs Up Received (77)
Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Financial Aid for College, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Parenting Support, Parents and Schools, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Transitions and Readiness, Study Skills and Academic StrategiesTop 5 in 12 Topics		 I actually go through this same thing with my 16-year-old daughter. Her father and I both work and so we rely on her more often than we should to help watch her three younger siblings. I know that we are the reason she can't have a part-time job and why she sometimes has to miss her Wednesday night youth group and I feel terrible about that. I also know that she almost never complains to me about it, but then often times ends up taking it out on the kids.

You need to explain to your parents that it isn't healthy for you to be the care-giver all the time. If they get a break from the kids, so should you. My husband and I always ask ourselves what we are going to do in a year and half when our daughter isn't there to help us anymore. We also realize that any paid care-giver would get days off and way more pay then just money for the movies occasionally. I'm sure your parents appreciate everything you do, but it is very easy to take you for granted since you are always there.

As calmly and rationally as you can (and I know that's hard because you feel so tired and under-appreciated that I'm sure you just want to cry) explain to them that while learning this kind of responsibility is extremely valuable, so is your sanity. You are NOT an adult yet and they need to keep that in mind when expecting things from you.

And trust me when I say that the responsibility and hard work ethic that you are learning now will help you. As the oldest of two brothers, I was asked to do a lot of the "adult" chores around the house and am now a very well-rounded and independent person. So, it really isn't all for nothing. But you don't have to take my word for it. Here's an article from a young woman who feels the same way:

Make-Learning-a-Family-Affair-A-Sisters-Point-of-V


References:
A big sister and mother of one amazingly helpful teenager.
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avatarNinaSharae.
# of Thumbs Up Received (3)		 Well, i think that you should go to your parents and tell them that you don't mind babysitting every once in a while but, you would also like some time to hang out with friends and have fun. You are a teenage girl. You do have responsibilities. But, some fun time doesn't hurt. As long, as you do your homework, and work out something with your parents to babysit, just have fun. I think that it will relieve some of that stress you are having. (: Hope this helps.

References:
Teenage girl going through the same problems. (:
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