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avatar Anonymous

my son just told us he is bisexual

he is 17
do not know what to do
this has just mentally distroyed me and my wife
help

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avatarJenny.eduguide
# of Thumbs Up Received (77)
Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Financial Aid for College, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Parenting Support, Parents and Schools, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Transitions and Readiness, Study Skills and Academic StrategiesTop 5 in 12 Topics		 Why? Why does this have to be an earth-shattering revelation? You son is still exactly the same person he was before he told you, only now he doesn't have the constant fear of this secret hanging over his head.

Instead of focusing on the fact that your son chooses to engage in activities that you may not approve of, focus on the fact that he was brave enough and respected you enough to share this with you.

I think the question you need to ask yourself is, "How much do I want my son in my life?" Your son is going to do what he wants whether you want him to or not. He is nearly an adult and whether you like it or not, he's going to make his own decisions. You can tell him what you want for him, but you can't make him do anything.

Your job as a parent is to keep him safe for as long as you can and if that means educating him on safe sex with men OR women then do it. You can disapprove of what he does, but make it clear that you don't disapprove of him.

In the end, all we want as parents for our children is for them to be happy. Of course this lifestyle is going to make it more difficult for him because of the discrimination of close-minded people. Don't be one of those people.

You have got to put this in perspective. Your son is healthy. He loves you and respects you enough to share this intimate detail of his life with you. Count yourselves lucky. He isn't dying of a terminal disease. He isn't a criminal. He just wants to be who he is. Let him.

References:
Mother of four, and believe me, I will love and support my kids no matter who they chose to love.
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avatarLizInHolt
# of Thumbs Up Received (78)
Top 5 in: Career Training, Choosing College, Depression and Mental Health, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Health and Wellness, Home Learning and Field Trips, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Setting Goals and Getting Motivated, Study Skills and Academics, Transitions and Readiness, Students' Civil RightsTop 5 in 18 Topics		 This has obviously upset you, partly because it was a surprise that you didn't expect or guess. But do try hard to keep this in perspective. This isn't something he's chosen to be, it's who he is. Take pride in the fact that he respects you and your wife and feels close enough to you to share this fact with you. As parents, we need to offer unconditional love to our kids. We may not like certain facts about them, but sexual orientation isn't something that can be changed. Remember and focus on all the things that make him uniquely your son and all the reasons you have to love and respect him. This isn't a reflection on you and your wife's parenting - it truly is the way he was born and who he is as a human being. Accept him for who he is and keep on loving him openly and with respect, just as he does you.

References:
Parent of a former teenager.
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