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avatarsk
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my son gets bullied in school

There is a boy whose Dad is a cop and he acts as a little cop at Daycare. He is 8 years old. My son is also 8 years old. HE has been beaten up by this boy and this little boy lies when teachers confront him. My son is not the only child that has faced this and this little cop has a past record in afterschool care.

The teachers do not inform me of what has happned. Today he punched my son in the inguinal area and it hurt him very bad to the point he wants me to address this with the childs mother. They live in our neighbourhood. Please advise.

Question applies to ages: 8

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avatarBridgette
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 First, I'm so sorry you and your son are having to go through this. It's frightening and painful for your son and frustrating and heartbreaking for you.

We just finished a school year where our son was bullied throughout the year. We spent a lot of time at the school reporting every single incident.

Given that this is a daycare, they might have a financial interest in making sure that your needs are met. I would demand a meeting with them and ask them how they are going to make sure your son is safe while in their care. And I'd encourage you to be persistent--go in and talk to them every single time there is an incident or even a threat.

Some advice my father gave me was that in any meeting with a school or day care, make sure you take notes and bring in a physical folder that the notes are put in. It sends a signal to the care providers that you are taking this seriously and that you WILL follow up. It lets them know that if they don't respond to you, you have the ability to go above their heads to someone who will.

It might also be very useful to talk to your neighbor, the child's mother. If you do, I would recommend that you take as non-confrontational approach as possible so that you don't put her on the defensive (which of us is not defensive about our child?). Take the approach of, "Our boys seem to have difficulty getting along. What can we do to help teach them more appropriate ways to deal with their frustration?" Do share with her the incidents--that your son has been punched hard and that you are worried about his safety. But approach her as a partner in solving the problem.

Also, keep checking in with your son. Talk to him about how to respond to bullies. Suggest that he be very careful about not being around this other child when adults are not present. Instruct him on how to report each incident immediately. While the other child may lie, eventually his lie is likely to be found out.

If nothing works, can you change day cares?

I wish you success in dealing with the daycare providers and the parent. I hope you are able to help stop this bullying.

References:
Mom to an 11-year-old who spent a year dealing with bullies.
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