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avatar Anonymous

How do i deal with a whiny and stubborn 8 year old girl?

We do our best to give her opportunities to be independent but her favorite phrase seems to be, "I can't". She is easily frustrated and has a tendency of exploding into loud and tearful tantrums. She is rather stubborn and will argue any point to avoid doing what she is told.

Question applies to ages: 8, 9

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avatarJenny.eduguide
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Financial Aid for College, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Parenting Support, Parents and Schools, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Transitions and Readiness, Study Skills and Academic StrategiesTop 5 in 12 Topics		 I think we may have the same child! Mine is 7, but behaves the same way. Then she will say something to me like, "If you stop being mean then I will stop yelling and listen!" I tell her that it doesn't work that way, she listens to me or she lives with the consequences.

When I ask her to do something and she chooses not to do it, I point out to her that she has one more chance to try. If she still chooses (note the emphasis on how it is her choice) to ignore my request, then there are consequences.

If she is behaving so irrationally (i.e. screaming at the top of her lungs) that I know I can't communicate with her then she must go lay on her bed until she calms down. And let me tell you, even that is a struggle. She will lay at the bottom of the stairs and refuse to move. I give her until the count of three to do so, then I help her myself. The trick is to always remain calm and never yell back or let her know that she's upset you.

Later on, when she's is calmer, you can then explain to her why you didn't like her behavior and talk about what kind of consequences and effects her behavior produced. The most important thing is that you not resort to yelling or any of the other things she is doing. You can't very well tell her not to it if you are using the same tactics.
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