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my 15 year old shows no love

my 15 year old shows no love or compassion. I have always gave him love and support. It breaks my heart to think he doesn't love me. I am finding it hard to be around him. All we do is argue.

Question applies to ages: 15

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avatarElizabeth.Johns
# of Thumbs Up Received (76)
Top 5 in: Choosing College, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Summer Learning and Camps, Teens and Jobs, Transitions and Readiness, Motivating StudentsTop 5 in 16 Topics		 15 year old boys are not the most lovable creatures on the planet. They are grumpy and self-centered and argumentative. that's what you see. What you don't see is that they are also trying to figure out how to separate from their parents but scared to do so, they are trying to figure out how to navigate in the adult world, and trying to figure out all the confusing physical and emotional changes they are going through.

Your son loves you, but don't expect him to show it. You don't have to argue with him, but neither do you have to allow disrepect and bad behavior. Model for him the adult behavior he needs to learn. When he is selfish, calmly point out to him that no matter how he feels, he still needs to contribute to the family--he doesn't have to do it graciously, but he has to do it (whatever that is, from taking out the trash to attending his grandmother's 80th birthday dinner). When he's a bear in the morning, acknowledge that you're willing to leave him alone, but you won't put up with slamming things or screaming at his younger sibling who took the last frozen waffle.

Someone has said that teens are like toddlers, just bigger. Try using the toddler discipline method of "catching him being good." If he does something nice (or even just is not overtly rude or bratty), acknowledge it. He may improve over time.


References:
mom of three teenage boys
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avatarlynn46
# of Thumbs Up Received (1)		 He loves you very much...I also have a very honery teen boy-he loves me when he needs something,or he tells me when he is hurt.But most of the time he does not want to go places with me, he would rather me call him for dinner.We dont argue though ,I find it very unhealthy(besides this is what happened to him & his father...yeah, they could not get along. As soon as we remember we are not competing with our children & accept them for who they are -no matter how strange it may seem....I am 37 & I went through parachute pants,spiked & colored hair..I accept my son for his grumpy self ...with hair too long and colorful clothing choices, I could not be prouder he never gives up!!!!that's important. So what if he does not want to to the dance with me.. we still have our special home time watch a favorite show. What you do have is what matters.

Find out what that is for the two of you,you will see...

References:
Just a Mom with a sometimes angry 15 yr old....he is trying desparatly to fit in
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