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avatar Anonymous

Teacher wants to hold back my child

My son's teacher wants to hold back my child in first grade and I do not agree with her assessment. I do not foresee an agreement with the teacher and the principal has sided with the teacher. The teacher has already begun telling my child that the work is too challenging for him and he comes home telling me that he is stupid.

His self-esteem has been shattered by this teacher and I do not know where to turn. It is too late in the year to switch schools which I intend on doing next year. I understand that if this teacher holds back my child that he will have to retake 1st grade even if I move him to another school. He has only one C in reading which is an area that we work on at home and with a private tutor. He gets A's and B's in all other classes. In addition, I have read that holding back a child can have negative effects on them for many years and into adulthood.

I would like to learn about what options I have to ensure that my child is not held back.

Thank you,


Question applies to ages: 6

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avatarLisa
# of Thumbs Up Received (0)		 I could have written your letter myself. My son has the same grades. We have already told his teacher that we are going to move him on to the next grade but she keeps sending notes home insisting that we reconsider. Last time I checked, a "C" was still passing and considered average. I know that my son can read. He just hates to do it. When he is properly motivated he will read much better and quicker than he normally does, so I know it's not a question of whether he has retained what he has been tought this year.

I have talked to alot of mothers at my church about this (older and younger) and not one of them said that it might me good to hold him back because of his grades and because their sons also took longer to read but eventually caught up. Not that they are experts, but they are "real life" experienced.

I am also concerned about the emotional distress it might have on my son. I know that his older boy cousins would tear him apart about it. But then if he fails the second grade it might be even harder emotionally because he is older. But to answer your concern about lasting effects into adulthood, I doubt it. My brother and I were held back (I still think to this day it was unnessesary) but neither of us had any drama about it after a few years and certainly not into adulthood. Life at school might, and probably will, be hard but if you end up holding your son back because YOU think it is best, then don't worry about it having longer term emotional effects.

Also, if your son does not have failing grades, then the only way they can hold him back is with your permission. My son's teacher told me that.

My concern is that if we hold him back and he starts to re-learn what he already knows, he will get bored and pay less attention and even start to have behavioral problems. My brother did that...
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