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avatarKaren
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How do i help my son focus in school

My son is 7 years old and in the second grade. His teacher sent a note home yesterday stating that she in concerned that his lack of focus and attention is hindering his academics in math and writing. The tone of the note leaves you thinking that she is hinting that he may need to be medicated. I really do not want to consider giving him mood altering drugs. He is a smart boy who is just does not care for school that much. What baffles me, his report card this last time was leaps and bounds better than the previous, if he is focusing less how could his grades be improving?

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avatarElizabeth.Johns
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Top 5 in: Choosing College, Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Learning Disabilities and Special Needs, Learning Styles, Parents and Schools, Safety, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Summer Learning and Camps, Teens and Jobs, Transitions and Readiness, Motivating StudentsTop 5 in 16 Topics		 If his report card is getting better, I fail to see how his "lack of focus and attention is hindering his academics in math and writing." It seems more likely that his lack of focus is hindering HER teaching groove.

If your child is totally bouncing off the walls and distracting other children and disrupting the class, then his behavior needs to change, but that does not mean medicating him. It means coming up with solutions that work for both your child and the teacher.

It may well be that his lack of focus and attention means that he is bored--after all, his grades show that he understands the material and is learning in class. A recent study showed that doodling on paper (which would seem to indicate a lack of focus and attention) actually helps many people comprehend information better. My son, who has Asperger's Syndrome, actually had written into his IEP that he was allowed to draw or color during class. He always knew the class material perfectly and the drawing helped to keep him from being distracted from other things in the classroom.

One of my other sons had a rough second grade year with a teacher who said he was disruptive and lacked focus. The following year, his third grade teacher discovered that he was mathematically gifted. Fortunately, she knew what to do with that. When he finished his work and seemed bored and on the verge of doing something to show that, she would have him walk around the class and assist other classmates who were having difficulties. She would also send him on errands (take this note to the office, take these books to the library, etc.) so that he could work off some physical steam in an appropriate manner. She also gave him additional workbooks and projects to keep his brain stimulated. (After all, ADD medications are technically stimulants that for some reason, work to calm the kid down. Why not stimulate him in a way that benefits him educationally instead.)

I think I would request a meeting with the teacher and get some clarification on just how your child is displaying a "lack of focus and attention" and just how that is "hindering his academics," since his report card does not reflect that. Then be open to working with her to come up with solutions that benefit all of you and do not involve medicating your child (which she can't force you to do anyway).

Good luck.

References:
Mom to four kids, who has dealt with issues like this before
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avatarBridgette
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 These are stressful issues to deal with, aren't they? Elizabeth gave some great suggestions for what to do if you think attention and focus are not the problem.

May I share with you our experiences in dealing with our son's attention issues?

I have a bright child who has been diagnosed with ADD and who had many focus and attention problems that were first brought to our attention in first grade and that we have worked with and struggled with for a long time.

At one point the teacher told us that he wasn't falling behind academically because he seemed to pick everything up--but that he wasn't doing any of the work. Everything was a distraction including the work itself. (They watched in amazement once as he spent nearly four hours happily playing games with his pencil when they'd removed him to another room where he was told he needed to stay until he finished the three math problems he was given. When he did finally start it, it took him about 15 minutes to finish.)

So while our child was absorbing all of the information and learning, the ADD caused other problems: an inability to finish work, a disorganization, and social problems because of outbursts and over-suggestibility. He was highly impulsive and would almost always act before thinking.

The decision to medicate is always one that should be made by parents and medical professionals. Teachers are in a good spot to offer observations, but they're not qualified to determine whether a child should be medicated. That said, I'd not classify the medication given to children with attention and focus issues as "mood altering" drugs.

After years of working with our son and his teacher (he had the same teacher for three years), we did make the decision to give our child a low dose of medication at the end of third grade. He was concerned that the medication would turn him into someone else. We explained to him that the medication would actually help his actions better reflect who he really was. It would give him that extra moment to think and make a decision before acting on it. It would reduce his frustration and how overwhelmed he felt when looking at work. The medication wouldn't "fix" or "change" him (for one thing, he didn't need "fixing"), it would give him the opportunity to be who he wanted to be.

We also took a very positive approach with ADD. We don't ever use the term "attention deficit disorder" in our house. We talk to our son about his "hunter's brain." Thom Hartmann wrote several books about ADD. A quote about one of his books:

"theorized that ADDers were essentially left over hunters in a farmer's world. 10,000 years ago, most people would have had Hunter traits. These traits, such as constantly scanning the environment (for prey), the ability fall into a dream-like state for long periods (during down periods) combined with the ability to become suddenly hyperfocused and thrive on danger and excitement (the hunt), helped these people survive. There was no need to remain focused on boring tasks. Until the agricultural revolution, that is, during which the farmer types outcompeted the hunter types, to the near extinction of the Hunters. Agricultural populations wiped out Hunter populations. Farmers needed to plan ahead and to tend their fields with care. They needed a different sort of temperament; more of a worker-bee personality. Hunters would forget to weed, forget to plant. Hartmann cited evidence that hunter-gatherer populations left on the planet appear to have a very high rate of ADD traits while populations which have been long agriculturilized, like China, have low levels of ADD traits."

We try to use these positive terms. We talk about how useful his hunter's brain can be and why sometimes he needs to work on the skills of a farmer--those skills may be more difficult and challenging for him, but they're still important and worth the extra effort.

Focus is a very useful skill, but it is only one skill of many and a child shouldn't be made to feel that he is either a "good" kid or a "bad" kid based on the level of proficiency he has of that one skill.

Children with these types of focus characteristics need to be kept stimulated or they become disruptive. This is challenging in a classroom and it is something that you'll likely have to be an advocate for him throughout his school career--or at least until he's developed the skills to advocate for himself. He will need to be challenged without feeling he is being overworked or having stuff piled upon him that he hates doing.

I'd recommend meeting with the teacher and having a discussion where you raise the issues that you have. Ask why the grades are better if she's worried about his academics. Ask about his work habits. Ask whether there are other accommodations that could be made to keep your child challenged and focused.

Good luck!

References:
mom to an 11-year-old child who is creative, impulsive, bright, and wanting to take in everything around him, not just the single task in front of him.
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avatarBarb.Rickard
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Parents and Schools # of Thumbs Up Received (3)		 I'm very confused why his teacher is sending a note home after he just showed such improvement on his last report card. This signals that it's time to set up a meeting with his teacher and possibly the principal. If there are other teachers that he interacts with on a regular basis, I would include them in the meeting as well. It's best to get as much information about your son's behavior as possible from as many sources as possible. If your son is bored, he may be disrupting the class because he doesn't know what else to do with himself.

You're right to be concerned about turning to medication when there are so many unanswered questions. I think the meeting would be a good place to find out exactly what the teacher is concerned about and what suggestions she might have for helping your son. If she mentions medication at the very beginning, then your instincts were probably right, and you can suggest other ways to help him without medication. Good luck!
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