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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think their children are naive.

Ogden Nash

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murray

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manage preschool anger

how can I teach kids to manage anger

Question applies to ages: 3, 4, 5

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Judy

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Bullying and Violence

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Teaching young children to manage anger is a very complex process.

First, you have to be sure you are modeling the sort of behavior you want from them -- no screaming from mom or dad, no matter what they do. I know that's not always possible, but it should be your goal.

Second, you need to watch for triggers and try to head them off before they occur. Angry outbursts are much more common in kids who are overtired, overstimulated, or hungry. If you can avoid the triggers, you can greatly decrease the angry outburst.

Third, your expectations must be realistic. They are young and this will take some time to accomplish.

Finally, I am a huge fan of Stanley Turecki's book "The Difficult Child" Despite the name, it's quite useful for average kids as well. The parenting tips he gives are excellent and truly apply to all children. If at all possible, find the first edition of the book. It's much funnier than later editions and his sharing of personal stories will make you feel like you aren't alone in this.

References:
Mom of 3, including one with ADHD

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Bridgette

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Top 5 in 7 Topics

Now there is a million dollar question. I'm not an expert on the subject and there are those who have studied it pretty intensely. I'm just a parent and one-time drama specialist who taught K-3.

I'll share with you some of the things that my husband and I saw the teachers in our son's school do and things that we adapted while teaching drama.

Help give the kids the language skills to talk about their anger. Teach them words that describe different emotions and all the different shades of anger, embarrassment, frustration, etc. When they have words to describe their emotions, they're better able to find solutions.

Acknowledge the anger without shaming it. Model good anger management by acknowledging when you are angry, describing and accepting your feelings, taking responsibility for your anger, and then directing the anger in non-aggressive, direct manners.

We would also play drama games where we would talk about emotions and list as many as the kindergartners could come up with. We'd then each practice what that sort of emotion would look like on our face, look like in the way we walked or stood, and sounded like in our voice.

I thought the article here had some good advice for parents that could be adapted anywhere:
www.ext.colostate.edu/PUBS/CONSUMER/10248.html

I also thought this site had a lot of good information:
www.angriesout.com/

There are also several good books for that age group including:

How I Feel Angry
Where the Wild Things Are
When Sophie Gets Angry..Really, Really Angry
Josh's Smiley Faces
When Mommy Was Mad
Is it Right to Fight?
Goldie is Mad
Hands are Not for Hitting

For adults, you can Google an online book about teaching kids anger management called "A Volcano in My Tummy" by Elaine Whitehouse.

Have fun!

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