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avatar Anonymous

Should you punish your first grader for receiving several F's on tests and if so, HOW?



Question applies to ages: 6

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avatarBridgette
# of Thumbs Up Received (41)
Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 I would strongly advise against it.

First, I'll confess that I have an issue with grades being given at all in the lower elementary classrooms. They are too often counter-productive to the developmental learning that is taking place at that age.

Grades, when used correctly, are not a reward or punishment. They are a measurement of a student's knowledge or skills performance. They are meant to provide information, not to pass judgment on a child's behavior.

If you punish, you run the risk of creating hostility toward learning--which would be counter-productive to your goals.

Instead, use the grades as an alert to seek more information. You wouldn't punish a child for failing a blood test or because he or she didn't have a height that measured up to the average. Instead, you would find out whether those things required you to intervene on behalf of the child's health.

So use this information to determine whether you need to intervene.

At school, talk to the teacher and ask several questions: Was the child in school when the information was presented? Is the child able to see the chalkboard? Is the child able to hear the teacher? Is there a particular subject area that the child struggles with and might need some additional support at home or at school? Are there skills that you can be working on with the child? Are there attention issues? Concentration skills? Does your child lack particular social skills that could interfere with learning?

At home: Is the child getting enough sleep? (If the child snores a lot, consider asking the doctor to test him or her for sleep apnea.) Is the child eating a healthy diet? Has the child recently experienced a disruption in routine? Is the child under unusual stress? Have there been major changes in the child's life recently? Does the child get enough unstructured play time that he or she is able to replenish concentration levels?

The answers to those questions may lead to other questions.

Your child needs to know that getting an F does not make him or her a failure. Rather, it means that now all of you are aware of an area in which he or she needs support and help. Provide that support and help your child know that you're there to help him or her succeed--and that he or she WILL succeed, because all of you are going to do the work necessary.
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avatarProudParent-Buse
# of Thumbs Up Received (0)		 I can't understand why Bridgette would say this.
First, I think this is a touchy situation, but they should recognize that F is not acceptable. I wouldn't punish them by means of a spanking, but maybe having a firm talk with them would suffice and see.

How are they going to learn to succeed if they don't understand that this is a failing grade?

They aren't.

In order for your child to grow in these times, they must be aware of Failure and Success. How to handle failure, but most importantly learn how to improve themselves.

At this age, you have a better chance influencing this, then you ever will as they get older.
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avatarAnonymous Bridgette is right on. We're talking about a 6 year old! This is the age when kids should still be loving school. If they are "failing" (and I agree---what are kids this age getting grades for anyway?) then it is a sign that an adult is failing somewhere (failing to detect a problem the child is having physically or emotionally, failing to recognize a learning style issue) more likely than it is a sign of misbehavior.
Follow all the leads Bridgette recommends before you even think of discipline.

References:
Mother of a six-year-old daughter.
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avatarStevensmom
# of Thumbs Up Received (0)		 I think "punishment" should fit the test. When my 1st grader brought home a failing spelling test I required him to write the missed words three times each and we had a long talk about him not doing his spelling homework all week. He has not failed a spelling test since!

I would adopt the same consequences for all tests. Correct the wrong answers and discuss how to better prepare for the next test.

I think it is important to separate the test from the child. My son is a wonderful kid, the test shows he didn't know how to spell "flat" on a particular Friday morning. He did not lose toys or privileges at home, but I made it clear that he needs to obey me when I tell him to complete his homework or the consequences will be a failed test - which is unacceptable because it shows me a lack of putting forth his best effort - and will result in MORE spelling work. But we still had pizza movies and ice cream, because that's what our family does on Friday nights.
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