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how to give a little disapline in the house without being nausty



Question applies to ages: 9, 18

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avatarBridgette
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 I'm a big believer in positive discipline--that it is more effective in the long-term even if it requires more patience in the short-term.

Just this morning I was re-reading a fantastic book called "Taking Charge." There are several important points it makes:

1. Make judicious use of attention. It is important that you minimize the emotional attention you give to negative behaviors. The more emotion you invest in any behavior, the more that behavior will be repeated. This also means that we have to give lots of attention not just to positive behavior, but to the neutral behaviors.
2. Avoid self-sabotaging your discipline by either talking too much, procrastinating, forgetting to pay positive attention, and negative scripting.
3. Teach children to solve their own arguments and disputes.
4. Avoid power struggles in part by avoiding language that evaluates behaviors ("that was bad" or "that was great") and using statements that describe facts.

What I really like about the book is its insistence that the job of parents is to discipline and set limits. It is also to encourage self-esteem in children and to help them become individuals. It's very practical. It talks about how the same misbehavior might have different root causes and how each requires a different response.

I'm also a big believer in providing natural, immediate, and relevant consequences to an action. It gets parents out of the authoritarian providers of punishment and into the roles of teachers of values and responsibility.

Discipline can be tricky. It requires parents to really listen to their children and be able to figure out what is going on. It also requires a great deal of self-discipline to be consistent so that children know what to expect and can feel safe.
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