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My boy will not use the potty

My son will be four in March and he refuses to use the potty. He only wants to use if if he gets something in return. Well, that got expensive. He will sometimes pee, but pooping is another story. We have tried giving him things, taking away things. Taking him on special outings, and we are at our witts end. He attends pre-school, and other children are being to laugh at him because he wears pull ups.

Question applies to ages: 3, 4

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avatarJenny.eduguide
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Family Activities, Financial Aid for College, Growth and Development, Health and Wellness, Parenting Support, Parents and Schools, School Policy and Education Issues, Study Skills and Academics, Transitions and Readiness, Study Skills and Academic StrategiesTop 5 in 12 Topics		 First of all, it is my opinion that pull-ups are the devil. Ok, maybe they aren't that evil, but in my experience they only encourage children to delay potty training. My children all enjoyed pull-ups because there were no accidents when they chose to go in their pants instead of using the potty. Pull-ups also pull all the moisture away from their little bottoms so they have no warning when they start to go.

My son also was not potty-trained until just after his 4th birthday. When we went in for his check-up I told the doctor I was concerned about him and the doctor asked me how many kindergarteners I saw going to school in diapers. Obviously I'd never seen any. Apparently it isn't all that uncommon for children that age to not be potty trained.

I found that the more we made a big deal out of the whole thing, the longer it took him to make any moves on his own. The more we stopped making it a huge production, the easier it was for him. Of course we cheered A LOT when he used the potty, but like you, I found that rewards were then expected and did get expensive.

Finally, I've worked at many pre-schools and I've seen lots of children have accidents and I have NEVER heard of the children laughing at someone because of this or because of a child wearing pull-ups. Perhaps the teachers are showing more negative attention toward your son than they should. Shaming children into using the potty doesn't work (at least in my experience).

References:
Mother of four (ages 6-16) all of whom use the potty :) and former daycare and preschool worker.
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avatarAlicia
# of Thumbs Up Received (0)		 While my son didn't have any trouble learning to use the "potty", my nephew did. My sister-in-law tried everything she could think of and the only thing that worked was rewarding him every time he used the potty. Then she ran into the same roadblock you find yourself at: he wouldn't "go" unless there was a reward.

The real (and marginally disgusting) answer can be answered by General Mills: Cheerios. Yes, Cheerios. She started placing a few (4-5 O's) in the toilet. She turned it into a game - I know you're following me here - the object being to "shoot the O's". Okay, it's gross, but it really worked. It kept his focus on the task at hand.

References:
Mom of an almost-8-year-old, auntie to 17 beautiful young people
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