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My 13 year old son is downloading porn, I need to know what to say to him about this



Question applies to ages: 13

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avatarAnonymous You mean, other than, "You can no longer use the computer"? Wow, it seems to me that you just take the computer away. Porn is illegal for a minor, and by allowing him access to a computer that has no controls on it to prevent viewing porm sites, you're kind of condoning an illegal activity (to say nothing of it being inappropriate material for a child). I suggest you stop letting him use the computer or if he absolutely has to use it for a school assignment, that he use it in the same room where you are. Forbidding him to go to a porn site and then continuing to let him use the computer if you're not in the same room and able to see the screen just means he'll continue to view porn.
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avatarAnonymous I am a passionate advocate of free speech, but not when it comes to pornography and children. What do you say? You're the parent. If it isn't okay with you, you say: "No. Not in my house. Not on my computer." If he won't comply willingly, get rid of the computer and cable/dish TV, etc.
If you mean how do you explain why it isn't okay for him to view this stuff, you can do some research on the internet to support your decision (some experts have linked use of pornography to violent crime in teenagers). But you don't have to make an air-tight case to justify pulling the plug. If you don't want it in your house, you don't have to have it in your house.
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avatarBridgette
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Top 5 in: Discipline, Families and Relationships, Growth and Development, Learning Styles, Manners and Values, Parenting Support, Parents and SchoolsTop 5 in 7 Topics		 I'd definitely recommend sitting down with him and explaining to him why porn is harmful and illegal. I'd also recommend telling him that he's lost computer privileges.

Of course, it can get tricky as he can probably access computers at schools, libraries, the homes of friends, or even off his phone. It's going to require a lot of vigilance on your part to ensure that he cannot access it. And again, stress to him the problems that porn can cause:

1. It shows a lack of respect for himself and for other people.
2. It's illegal for someone of his age to view the material (and you can show him what consequences might stem from that violation).
3. It creates an unhealthy view of sex and sexuality.

I'm sure there are lots of other things that can be found. But it also sounds like (if you haven't already) it's time for some pretty frank talk about sex and sexuality. Also about trust--and how he will need to re-earn your trust by showing that he can exhibit good judgment about what material is appropriate and what isn't.

Good luck!
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