As your child turns 2, and often closer to age 3, she may show signs of being ready to begin toilet training. Long before my own daughter was ready, my husband and I began getting pressure and unwanted advice about our daughter's inability to use the toilet. This advice usually came from well-meaning family and friends, whose children were "trained by 12 months."

We began to agree she should be ready. However, we were so busy taking the advice of others, we failed to see that our daughter was far from ready. We tried everything! Nothing worked.

Finally, we backed off. Each time she had an accident, we gritted our teeth and said, "No problem," or "maybe next time." Then two weeks before she turned 3, she was trained-not by anything we had said or done, but because she was physically and emotionally ready.

General Signs of Readiness

  • The child can understand and speak simple words, such as wet, dry, potty, and go.
  • The child can pull his or her pants on or off without assistance.
  • The child shows an interest in wearing underpants.
  • The child is aware of the "need to go" and expresses this by word or action.
  • The child is out of the "no" stage, and follows simple directions.
  • The child asks to use the toilet or "potty chair," or shows an interest in the bathroom habits of others.
  • The child's bowel movements are regular and somewhat predictable.
  • The child can stay dry for two hours at a time during the day, or is dry after a nap.
  • The child is uncomfortable when wet or soiled.
  • The child understands that things belong in certain places: Toys go in the toy box; milk goes in the refrigerator; urine and stool go in a toilet.

Don't Push

Don't make the mistake I did, and assume that a child is ready when she first begins to show awareness after soiling or wetting. This child may be aware of a full bladder or bowel, but not in time to tell the parent or successfully go on the toilet. Pushing the child to use the potty too early will actually slow down the process.

Toilet training our other children was much easier for my husband and me. We ignored advice from others, and we let each child decide when the time was right. Remember, begin when the time is right for your child. You want to be the one training your toddler, not the other way around. 

 

Kim Armbrustmacher is a mother of three, a child care provider, and a freelance writer in St. Johns, Michigan.