My 15-month-old daughter has a new name. It’s Autumn-No. It’s not something my wife, Amy, and I like to call her. In fact, we don’t like to use that name at all, but for some reason she insists on being called Autumn-No.
We try to get her attention by using her given name, Autumn. “Autumn, do you want to take a walk?” No response. “Autumn, do you want to read a book?” No response. In fact, she’ll ignore us and continue to play. “Autumn, how about a snack?” Still nothing.
Then she’ll stand up and play with the buttons on the television, which is strictly against the rules. Here’s where the new name takes affect. “Autumn, no!” She’ll look, try again, and after we call her name she’ll stick out her bottom lip and cry.
Busted.
I can’t help but think I’m in for a life of crime with this child. She’s already got an alias and is working on a rap sheet that includes pulling heavy books from the bookcase, sticking her magnets under the refrigerator and throwing food at the cat.
I hope I haven’t lost my little Autumn, oh, excuse me, I mean Autumn-No. At least I’ll have the memories.
She’s walking like a champ now; strutting her little baby strut around the corner, giggling and pointing at everything in the house. She’s trying to talk, already mastering such words as bubble, teddy and uh-oh.
Those are so precious. I guess we’ll just have to up the ante as parents. It’s tough, but fun, and we’re learning that we always have to keep one eye on the little speedster as she explores her world and dutifully tests the boundaries.
Before we could put her in one place, leave the room, and she’d be there when we came back. Now she follows us around, runs away from us and is a champ at playing peek-a-boo and hide and seek.
Whether it’s Autumn or Autumn-No, she’s a trooper because I’m sure there are times she wonders what the heck her parents are doing, scolding her for batting at the cat.
She’ll learn about the rules as time goes on, that we know. We’re just dreading the time when she starts to tell us why we are wrong.
Then I’ll have a new name: Daddy-No.
Tim Kissman is a dad and freelance writer in Lansing, Mich.