Becoming a responsible family member not only makes home life more pleasant, it also prepares your child for participation in the larger community. Here are some expectations that build children’s social strengths and encourage responsibility toward the family.
- Get along with siblings. Remind your children that even when they are angry with their siblings, they still love each other and can rely on each other for help.
One trust-building fun family activity is the compliments game. Gather the family in a circle and have each family member mention something they like and appreciate about the person to their right and then to the left. Continue until everyone has had a chance to compliment all the members of the family.
If your children are having difficulties getting along, have them make a list of suggestions to improve the situation. Suggestions on teaching citizenship might include respecting each other’s belongings, being kind to each other, agreeing on which television shows to watch, or avoiding interrupting when siblings are playing with friends. (See
"How to Respectfully Disagree in a Disrespectful World" for advice on guiding siblings through conflict.)
- Treat family members respectfully. Model this behavior by treating your children with respect and courtesy. Demand that they treat each other and you the same way. For more information, see the Get Respect from My Teen Guide.
- Perform chores without complaining. Assigning age-appropriate chores to children helps them learn responsibility. Sharing chores also makes lighter work for everyone in the home. For more on this, check out our Give My Kids Age-appropriate Chores Guide.
- Read stories that promote your family’s values. Make sure the books in your home express values you approve of. Read aloud to your children when they are younger, but continue the family tradition with preteens and teens by taking turns reading aloud to each other.
- Remember birthdays. Encourage your children to recognize each other’s special day by going out of their way to it enjoyable. This might mean making a card, singing a song, serving breakfast in bed, or making the birthday person “monarch for a day.”
- Apologize for mistakes. Everyone does things they shouldn’t, and there’s one simple action to take when that happens: say you’re sorry. That includes everyone in the family, child and adult.
- Respect the rules of the house. Family rules help the group operate smoothly and keep everyone safe. Following these rules shows respect and demonstrates responsible behavior. Make sure your children understand that when they respect family rules, they will be trusted with more privileges.
- Eat the food that is served or decline politely. Being a responsible family member means not creating extra work for the cook such as creating different meals for each eater. Family members should do their best to eat at least some of every meal and then thank the cook.