The child who has an “I can” attitude will do much better in school than the child who constantly says “I can’t.” That’s where you, an adult who supports the educational process of a child or several children, can help. Here are some ways you can provide positive feedback to your children:
♦ Instead of asking “What did you do in school today?” be more specific. Ask: “What good happened in school today?” Follow up with questions such as “How did that make you feel?” or “Why did you like it?”
♦ Be a good role model. How you feel about yourself greatly influences how you children feel about themselves. Demonstrate positive and responsible habits for your children to copy. Teaching character happens as much from deeds as from words.
♦ Look for the good things your children do and let them know you’ve noticed and that you are pleased. Be specific.
♦ Create opportunities for your children to succeed by breaking down big projects into easy increments and then cheer them on at the completion of each step.
♦ Don’t presume your children know how much you love them. Tell them every day. Hug them, talk to them, play with them.
♦ Watch what you say around your children even if you think they’re not paying attention. Children can often hear you even when they are paying attention to something else.
♦ Let your children know you support and love them even when they don’t win; your encouragement is so important. They need to know you’re there to cheer them on when they try again.
Excerpted from a piece originally in On Call Public Relations Service, Washington State School Director’s Association, Dec. 1993/Jan. 1994, and reprinted in “Tool Kit for School-Family-Community Partnerships” published by the Washington State School Directors’ Association, 221 College Street N.E., Olympia, Washington 98516-5313. Phone: 360-493-9237