When we teach our kids manners, we are teaching them essential social skills for life - skills they'll use to impress a date's parents, get their first job and work with colleagues in the future. Don't sell your children short. Start teaching them the social graces they'll need to be successful.

Teaching character: Be Polite, Expect Politeness

  • When our children see us being polite to others, they are given the best role model. If we expect this of our children, we should also say “please” and “thank you” when asking them to do something. Too often I’ve found myself ordering or demanding my daughter do something, then turning around and complaining when she does the same to me.

  • Point out when another child has done something nice and say, “Wasn’t that a polite thing to do?” Always recognize your child’s polite moments. Praise her for her good manners. My daughter’s favorite thing to do while we are at the post office is to open the door for others. She is amazed and disappointed at how few adults thank her. When a child, any child, is polite to you, remember to acknowledge them. By doing so, you’re reinforcing polite behavior. 
  • Use a toy telephone to teach your child phone manners. It’s best if they do not answer your phone until they understand proper phone etiquette. It may sound cute to you, but not to the person calling, when a child yells into the phone: “Who is this?” or “What do you want?” Once you begin allowing him to answer the phone, make up a small list to set beside the phone giving him instructions.
    1. “Hello, Lay residence?”
    2. If the caller asks for someone else in the house, say, “Just a minute please” and take the phone to the right person.
    3. If not available, ask to take the caller's name and number and write it down. Or, ask the caller to please call back.
    4. Remember, NEVER tell anyone that a parent isn’t home. Tell caller the parent is “not available.”

Kindness Counts in Toddler Parenting

  • Kindness to animals can be taught at an early age by showing babies and toddlers how to pet and be gentle with stuffed animals. The same technique can show them how you are kind to your animals. Model kind and gentle behavior with pets. Then watch how your child reacts to other people’s pets. If your child seems afraid or unnecessarily rough, perhaps he is not ready for a pet in the home. 
  • No one likes to be teased or mistreated. Never make fun of or ridicule another person in your child’s presence. Talk to your child about feelings and how everyone has them. Refrain from telling or laughing at ethnic jokes. If your own child is teased by another, encourage him not to respond similarly, but to think of all those who are kind to him. 
  • Chldren often show their anger by hitting or screaming at other children. Teach them how to properly handle anger toward others. Encourage your child to clasp her hands together and count to ten in a silly way whenever she is mad: “One elephant toe, two elephant toes…”

Manners for Kids: Honesty--More than the Best Policy

  • Encourage honesty in your children. Tell them how sad someone must be to have lost what your child has found, whether it’s money or a toy. A lost dollar bill may not seem like much, but honesty in the little things instills a desire to be honest in bigger ways. I’m amazed and humbled at how my daughter will go out of her way to give a dropped penny or quarter to a customer ahead of us in line. As with other issues, I always try to let her see me return the incorrect excess change, stamps, or other items I may be given. 
  • If you know your child is lying, don’t accuse. Instead, tell him how special the truth is and how proud you are when he is truthful. Then wait for his conscience to go to work. 

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