It's hard to believe my youngest child, Sean, just turned 5 years old.
Not too long ago, my husband and I thought we'd never be done with diaper changes, car seats, safety gates and nap schedules. Now, as friends predicted, we're starting to miss those baby and toddler years.
It's hard to get sentimental about Sean's early days, though, because he had a rocky start.
First, a problem developed during birth and he was whisked away, put on oxygen and hooked up to IVs and monitors. For a long, anxious week he remained in neonatal intensive care. Thankfully, his condition improved.
Not long after he came home, however, Sean developed severe colic. He grew extremely fussy and wouldn't nap. Concerned he might have a medical problem, my husband and I made the rounds of various doctors. Nothing was found. Friends suggested ways to soothe him, but none worked.
Cries in the Night
Sean's worst period was the first half of the night, when he would cry almost non-stop, appearing to be in great distress. Around 3 a.m. he would finally crash, sleeping through most of the morning. I wished I could do the same, but I had two young daughters who needed me.
The stress of the situation, made worse by lack of sleep, gradually took its toll on our family. My husband and I found ourselves arguing a lot and blaming each other for not being more supportive. I resented that he could get away from home most days, if only to a busy workplace. I also became easily annoyed with the girls, frequently yelling at them and feeling terrible afterwards.
One evening I finally reached the breaking point. The moment my husband got home from work, I ran upstairs, shut myself in our bedroom and began to sob. The tears didn't subside for almost an hour. I couldn't go on like this anymore, I told him. We had to figure out a better way to cope-fast.
The situation called for the best teamwork we have ever done.
The Teamwork Solution
My husband flexed his work hours so he could take on more night duty. In the morning I got up with the girls while he slept in. He also insisted that on Saturdays I go out by myself for a while.
Our families pitched in, taking care of the girls a couple of days a week. On a few occasions my mother-in-law slept over or my parents took Sean for the night. They also encouraged my husband and me to go out on dates.
Although Sean didn't start sleeping through the night until his fourth year, once the colic subsided at six months we were truly able to appreciate him for the blessing he was.
Ironically, he's now the most solid sleeper in our family. Even so, when I kiss him during my routine midnight check, I sometimes still get flashbacks of him in that incubator, attached to tubes and wires, or twisting in my arms, flushed and sweaty from screaming. And I'm thankful we're over those rough times.
No doubt other challenges lie ahead for our family-they're an inevitable part of life-but our experience convinced me that, with the help of those who care about us, we can get through anything together.