Siblings should be encouraged to express their feelings about having a brother or sister with special needs, including anger and tears.
Special Needs Inclusion Can Sometimes Mean Sibling Exclusion
- Try to listen carefully and without judgment when siblings express strong emotions about their role in special families. It doesn't just take a special parent, their role is not an easy one, either.
- Try to avoid using siblings as free babysitters or to meet other intense care-giving demands. There are agencies designed to help with these challenging needs, use them.
- Try to make time for one-on-one outings with your children without special needs. Such outings can help balance the time restrictions special needs parents and siblings often face on a daily basis while meeting the demands of children with special needs.
- Celebrate your children’s achievements and make every attempt to attend special events that involve your child, even if only one parent can attend.
- Include your child in family planning regarding siblings with special needs. They need to be clear on their roles and responsibilities.
- Encourage your children to spend time together, take family vacations and laugh together. While the needs may be different, you can still be a close and loving family, one that creates good memories and security for all of your children.
Links
Sibling Support Project - A non-profit dedicated to creating community support networks for siblings of children with special needs.
Siblings of Kids with Special Needs - A page from the University of Michigan health system's Your Child initiative. It links to dozens of valuable resources.
Judy Winter is a journalist on disability issues and the recipient of the 2002 Exceptional Parent Award from the Michigan Federated Chapters of the Council for Exceptional Children.