Some of the toughest words parents will ever face are these: Something is wrong with your child.
In many cases, your child’s special needs will be obvious at birth, as in cases of Down Syndrome or a serious medical condition. But for many children, a diagnosis of special needs may not be made until after important infant child development milestones haven’t been met, the children are in learning difficulties, or as these children of special needs exhibit unusual or challenging behaviors.
When you do discover your child has special needs, you may find yourself easily overwhelmed by the professional terms and personal advice that come your way. As you look for the right special needs definition and scour special education articles, you may sometimes feel overwhelmed by parent stress.
Strangers will suddenly enter your life in the form of professionals with impressive credentials. It’s easy to get caught up in their expertise and forget to listen to your own inner parenting voice—one that can help you to make good decisions.
It Can Be Hard for Special Needs Parents to Trust Their Gut
When the voices regarding your child’s development become too loud or unclear, my advice is to take a time out. Sit quietly and give yourself a chance to examine your own strong feelings about your child’s needs. This time out can offer important insight about your child and his needs. It may be a diagnosis, or lack of one that concerns you. Perhaps the answers you’ve been given just don’t add up. Maybe you need more time to make an important decision about a medical treatment or a surgery, and others are rushing you.
Pay Attention to Those Special Parent Red Flags
As a society, we don’t give parents permission to trust their own voice or to question the opinions of others, especially professionals. So we need to give ourselves that permission. Professionals make mistakes, they cannot predict the future of your child with absolute certainty using only statistics, and they may miss an early diagnosis of special needs in a child.
Professionals Are Human; Special Education Articles Can Be Wrong
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and to voice concerns when you disagree with them. You can, and should, do this respectfully and armed with knowledge about your child’s needs. It’s important to learn early on that good communication is crucial to meeting the needs of your child.
This does not mean you should ignore the important realities of your child’s needs, including a professional diagnosis. It does mean you should learn to trust your instincts. I know many parents who ignored their own beliefs about their children’s needs only to discover later their concerns were right on target. The time these parents lost in finding critical early intervention services for their children cannot be retrieved.
In most cases, no one knows a child better than a parent. When faced with important decisions regarding your child, and a nagging sense of doubt about the opinions of others, trust your gut. Then, speak up.
It has never failed me.
Judy Winter is an award-winning parent advocate for children with special needs.