In elementary school—when your child spent every day in the same classroom— parent/teacher communication was fairly open and it was easy to build relationships with teachers and the principal.  Now that your child is a teenager, the challenges he faces in middle school and high school are more complex.  It’s not always easy to find a teacher, counselor or school administrator that you like and trust, but it is important.  In times of trouble, parents need someone they trust within the school system.  If you’re having trouble finding a school professional you feel comfortable with, try the suggestions listed here:

  1. Ask your child about his favorite teacher: He probably has at least one he feels he can talk to outside of the classroom. If not, ask him which teacher he really respects, which one challenges him to do better in class. Then, email or call that teacher periodically to ask how your teen is doing in class. This is a great way to get to know and trust a teacher, and it opens the door for help if your child needs it at some point.
  2. Ask a friend for a name of a helpful school administrator:  Learn from other people’s experiences.  If you know someone who has older children and has been in the school system for a while, ask her for the name of a teacher or counselor she trusts.  If you aren’t sure whom to ask, check with your teen.  He may have a friend with older siblings, and you could contact that parent.
  3. Attend parent-teacher conferences: Even if your child is a straight-A student, always meet with her teachers during conferences.  This is a great way to keep the parent/teacher communication open, and it shows serious parent involvement in education.  Teachers know which parents show up for conferences, and it always helps the teacher to put a face with a name.
  4. Volunteer whenever possible: Whether you volunteer in the classroom, at a school dance, or at other teenagers’ activities, you will meet teachers, other parents, and possibly even the principal.  Volunteer opportunities give you a chance to network with these people and get to know them on a personal and professional basis.
  5. Get your teenager involved: If your child had a favorite elementary school teacher from previous years, ask if she needs extra help in the classroom after school.  Elementary school teachers almost always welcome volunteers, especially from previous students.  Teachers are excellent sources for letters of recommendations for colleges and potential employers.
  6. Meet regularly with your teen’s school counselor: Especially in high school, set up an appointment with your child’s counselor at least once a year to discuss the classes your child is considering for the upcoming year.  The counselor will get to know you and your child better.   He can also help your teen choose classes that interest her and offer guidance on what types of classes colleges look for on school transcripts.
  7. Check out ratemyteachers.com: This website can be helpful, especially if you are new to a city and school, and you know nothing about the school staff. Parents and students use this website to rate their teachers and other school administrators on a scale from 1 to 5.  They are also able to post comments about the person they are rating.  Although some of the comments posted show how “cool” the teacher can be, many comments can help you see which teachers are liked and respected more than others.  You may be able to determine a teacher’s style in the classroom and see if your child may do well (or not so well) in that classroom.  In addition, if your child is currently struggling in this teacher’s classroom, you may see similar comments posted that back up your child’s complaints.