Every now and then my son Jack likes to put on a Cinderella gown. That toddler activity might disturb me if he were older than just 3 and the dress didn’t come from his older sister’s dress-up box full of frilly things.
Don’t get me wrong: I intend to support my son whether he chooses to kick field goals, kick in a chorus line or both. Still, I can’t help turning red when Jack greets his grandfather at the door head-to-toe in pink.
When my little guy transforms from boy to beagle, every question I ask is answered with a bark. My pretend puppy insists on eating corn flake kibble from a bowl on the floor, while lapping up water from a nearby dish.
These toddler games may cause me to roll my eyes at times, but I have to remember that whether he’s royalty or Rover, Jack is learning. Exercising his imagination strengthens his mind. It’s important that I play along.
Education experts agree that playing make-believe teaches important social skills, such as empathy, language development and coping with difficult situations.
My own make-believe toddler's activities certainly helped me when I was a kindergartener and my parents were divorcing. Pretending to nurse stuffed animals gave me some sense of control and, I’m sure, distracted me from the bickering going on in other parts of the house.
Still, as much as I enjoyed losing myself in my imagination, it’s challenging now, when I’ve got a long list of grown-up duties to finish by noon. How many times must I walk down the aisle as everyone from the flower girl to the groom? How many twirls must I do until my tiny ballet teacher is satisfied? How much longer must I search for Blue’s Clues while dinner boils over on the stove?
Despite these frustrations, most of the time, I play along and watch with awe as my children’s imaginations soar. And I know that one day, my princess, puppy, policeman Jack will thank me.
Pretend-Play Advice
- Set a time limit. Say to a child, “I’ll play school for 15 minutes and then I have to clean up.”
- Suggest changes when you and the child you care for do something too many times. If you have crawled on all fours until your knees are raw, suggest a change, like, “Hey, now let’s pretend we can fly!”
- Keep an eye out for ordinary items that can spark creativity. Empty toilet paper tubes become binoculars; outdated junk jewelry becomes sunken treasure.
- Try to keep in mind children spend much of their time being told what to do and when to do it. Playing pretend gives them a rare chance to make the rules. And it gives you a chance to see the kinds of ideas that are churning around inside those little heads.
Rebecca Kavanagh is a mother in Farmington Hills, Michigan.