At 3:30 p.m., Sarah and Johnny arrive home from school. At 4 p.m., Johnny goes to baseball practice and Sarah’s off to ballet. At 4:45 p.m., you drive them both to a tennis lesson. At 5:30 p.m., you take them home for dinner. At 7 p.m., Sarah has swimming lessons, and at 7:30 p.m., Johnny has soccer tryouts.
Does this sound like a typical day in your household? If you think it’s a lot of running around for you — the soccer mom/taxi service — just think of the strain it might be putting on your kids. Obviously, sports and other enrichment activities offer child fitness and many other benefits, but parents need to ask themselves: How much is too much? Does playing multiple sports help or hurt my child? How can I best support my young athlete?
The Benefits of Sports
Sports can be a positive experience for child social development, as well as your child's personal health and wellness. Many aspects of psychological growth — including self-esteem, social skills and discipline — can result from sports participation. Kids learn about teamwork, competition, structure, how to lose and how to win. They learn new skills and meet new friends. Your help in guiding them through these life lessons is invaluable.
Be aware that some unhappiness can result from competition, and temporary insecurity, stress, or disappointment can lead to long-term negative feelings. Luckily, you can help make your child's sports participation a positive experience by providing positive feedback and helpful advice. From self-esteem to a sense of responsibility, your child will grow by leaps and bounds.
Multiple Sports: Too Much of a Good Thing?
Many adults who work with young athletes believe exposure to multiple sports creates well-rounded, talented players. Paul Weaver, a major-league scout for the Houston Astros, is one such proponent. In "Sports Talent: How to Identify and Develop Outstanding Athletes" (Human Kinetics, 2001), Weaver shares his experience: "Most major-leaguers played more than one sport in high school. We would like to have prospects who are well-rounded persons, not just players. In the 12 to 15 age group, they should be doing more than just playing baseball."
But not every child is destined to play professional sports. Should parents worry if their kids want to play several sports — just for fun? Jay Miller, who has been a volunteer youth indoor soccer coach since 1996, can see both positive and negative effects on children involved in multiple sports.
"Negatively," says Miller, "some children will actually begin to tire of a particular sport, instead of becoming more interested in it. I have seen kids become physically tired of playing two or more sports at a time and still try to keep up with schoolwork and maintain a social life. In cases like these, some aspect of their life will have to be forfeited."
On the flip side, Miller says, children must learn to make wise decisions. "I believe this helps them to grow into responsible adults by helping them place value on the activities in which they participate."
Young athletes also get more exercise when they play multiple sports. While exercise is almost always positive thing, in some cases, children may actually get too much. Stress and injury are a big area of concern when your children are involved in more than one sport. Valerie Daniel, an athletic trainer at Riverside High School in Durham, sees a lot of physical burnout, which increases the risk of injury. "They become prone to overuse injuries such as tendentious, strains and sprains that do not heal, stress fractures and chronic muscle fatigue," she warns. Furthermore, kids who are fatigued are also more susceptible to colds and other illnesses.
The Pitfalls of Over-scheduling
While some children thrive with an abundance of after-school activities, others suffer the effects of over-scheduling. Their circuits become overloaded and they are prime candidates for shutting down and burning out. "Some [children] lack the time to concentrate on school because most of their weekends are taken up with competitions and during the week, they have multiple practices," says Daniel.
"If a child is dedicated to playing a sport, they are going to do everything in their power to make it work and not get pulled out of the sport," says parent, Darlene Cope, whose own children are multi-sport kids. She believes most children will work extra hard at school in order to participate in several extracurricular sports. This added pressure to perform puts enormous stress on children. As a parent, you’ll need to pay close attention to your children’s attitude and emotional well being, as well as their academic performance.
Pay attention to what your children do when nothing's scheduled. Do they wander off to entertain themselves with a game, hobby or project, or are they bored and restless? One result of too many scheduled activities is that some children don't know how to manage themselves when there's nothing planned, and some, overly stimulated from going from one event to the next, have trouble concentrating or sleeping.
Everything in Moderation
If you're signing your child up for one enrichment activity after another because you believe an early start will secure a lifelong interest or give your child the competitive edge in high school sports, think again. If you start a child in extracurricular activities too early — before his body is developed to perform the skills required or before he acquires the social skills to understand sportsmanship and the discipline of practice — you may turn him off to the activity instead of providing the benefits you might wish.
Moderation should be your watchword as you help your child determine his schedule. Bear in mind your child's age in your effort to arrange activities that are rewarding, but not overwhelming. Some experts recommend that you limit your 3- to 5-year-old to one or two activities per school semester, your 6- to 8-year-old to two or three activities, and your 9- to 12-year-old to three or four activities. Keep your child's interests and talents foremost in your mind as you suggest activities. Look for programs that are compatible with his physical and mental abilities, and encourage him to sample both athletic and cultural activities.
After you have gathered all the details on the programs your child might pursue, sit down with him and begin making the final decisions. Consider what your child wants, as well as what you think is practical. Reluctant children may need some gentle nudging or encouragement to pursue organized activities. Another good rule of thumb is to check with your family physician before enrolling your child in any physically straining activities. Also, a physical is a good idea and sometimes required prior to beginning certain sports.
Know When To Say When
Many parents are hesitant to let their children quit activities once they’ve committed to them. But when should you let kids quit a sport? Obviously, if their health or schoolwork is suffering, children should be allowed to discontinue sports activities.
But what if your daughter’s enthusiasm for ballet has waned? She used to love to practice — even danced around the house for a few weeks — but now she resists. She complains and wants to play and watch a little TV instead of going to class. You feel like you’re dragging her, but once there, she enjoys her friends and the instruction.
This is the basic rule for your parenting thumb: If the child goes into an activity with a frown but comes out with a smile, keep going. If your child started out enthusiastic for ballet but ended up hiding out in the hall, it's time to call it quits, or, better yet, offer that she take a break from ballet with the option to try again when she's older.
As long as you pay close attention to your child’s behavior during sports and the effects these sports might be having on your child’s emotional well being, physical health and schoolwork, you’ll be prepared for anything that comes your way.
Jennifer Hartman is a freelance writer living in North Carolina. She has been published in many children's magazines and newspapers as well as women's health magazines.
This article was first published in"Carolina Parent Magazine," Raleigh, NC.