Sensitive new-age guy that I’m not, I’ve made my share of parent's relationship blunders. But relationship blunders can be even more costly now that they affect the environment my son spends his time in. Here are a few things I’ve learned the hard way about taking care of the people who take care of Junior.
Work as a Team.
I don’t really like other people telling me how to parent. So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that grandma and others who care for our son want a little respect for their ways of doing things too. Here’s my solution for keeping everybody on the same team even when you can’t agree on what the next play should be.
Avoid telling them they’re wrong—-why start an argument? Besides there’s often more than one right way to enforce parents' discipline. Focus instead on your desire to keep from confusing your child with inconsistent rules. Simply say "in our family, we prefer to do it this way; can you help us with that?"
Talk Openly and Often.
When I first became a dad, I was amazed at the smallest details of our son’s life my wife would share with friends, relatives and others, from how many minutes he napped to the color, texture and size of his poop.
I soon learned that this wasn’t just more girl-gossip, but the baby equivalent of baseball statistics—-vital information that could tell you how to handle your child’s next inning. Talk honestly and often with the people who care for your child and ask them to do the same. Make sure they agree to an open-door policy as well, where you’re always welcome to visit.
Share the Love.
Generosity has a way of trickling up. Smiles and thank-yous shared with your care provider will get passed on in kindness to your child and others. Likewise, discouragement and disrespect have an infectious way of spreading. So avoid the top two offenses that discourage caregivers: picking up your children late and being slow to pay your bill.
Bryan Taylor is President of EduGuide.