Every year, the U.S. Department of Education spends thousands of dollars to find and promote new ways to get parents involved in their kids’ education. They needn’t bother, really. All they have to do is to visit the music families in my hometown.
Year after year, proud parents pack student concert halls. Then we shell out hundreds of dollars for shiny new instruments, private lessons and an endless array of fundraiser chocolate bars. At local and state festivals, we’re known for packing rooms so full of parents, there’s barely room for the musicians.
So it’s not surprising that when my son's high school band performed for an international music conference in Chicago last year, a large legion of parents came, too (seriously hampering any plans they had for after-hours high-jinks).
Chaperoning 62 energized teens in a big city was tough. But it was a walk in the park compared to the months of hard work that came before. This performance of a lifetime demanded a whole new level of parental involvement.
First, we worked with the band director to improve home-school communications. Thanks to regular e-letters, we knew all the details and deadlines did and we had it in writing.
Second, we shared decision-making. Parents were invited to report on their kids' progress and help plan practice schedules. This helped students maintain balance between music, homework, sports and jobs. This respect for parents' judgment paid off in the end, because students stayed healthier and more productive.
Finally, we all held high expectations for the kids and made sacrifices to make sure they performed their best.
And they did. As they masterfully played difficult pieces we wondered, “When did our squeaking, squawking, out-of-tune beginners get to be so good?” The truth dawned that it had happened gradually. And it had taken a whole team.
No matter how much I love him, I could never have given my son the trumpet skills he needed to master his solo. It took private teachers, gifted composers and several dedicated directors to do that. But these talented teachers and directors needed me, and all the parents around me, to encourage my son, to attend concerts, to reinforce practice time -- and open my wallet.
As you head into a new school year, I hope your team is ready to communicate, share decisions and hold high expectations for your child. Urge your principals to meet the PTA’s national standards for parent involvement.
Finally, I hope you take to heart a powerful lesson from the biography of Charles Vernon, a guest performer during our Chicago concert. At the end of a long and impressive list of music achievements, his biographer writes: “Saving the best for last, the Vernons have two sons, Mark and Gary.”
Do you hear that? Never forget that more than our dollars and volunteering, our children are the best parents have to give a school. Good teachers respect and understand this. When they do -- and when we work together as partners -- a sort of magic happens. Before we know it, we get our kids back as talented young adults, ready to present their best to the world.
Linda Wacyk is a Grand Ledge, Michigan mother and freelance writer.