Improve your child's school with better parent teacher communication. Being involved and aware of what is going on in your school will improve student teacher relationships and help you to customize (to some degree) the education that your child receives.
Teachers respect parent involvement in education. Teacher trust can only lead to good things for you and your child. The following is a list of tips for getting involved and for increasing your ability to communicate your needs.
Use this list only as a guide, recognizing that every child is an individual with unique situations:
- Be an active parent. Twenty-two year veteran mom Sharon Baskin says active parents are those who are doers, who want to see things get done, and who go the extra mile. They sacrifice their time and organize events, not just for their own children but for others as well. Teachers recognize and appreciate the effort and often reward it with perks such as being selected for special school representation, or being informed about outside educational programs.
- Build a bond with the principal. Drop by the office and talk to the principal. Find out his or her needs are and see if you can meet some of them. Express your interest in how things are going and offer support. The principal will remember this and call on you when help is needed. You may even be invited to the table during decisions about purchases, curriculum or other important issues.
- Make your presence felt. Attend parent teacher conferences, special events, or just visit the classroom and lend a helping hand. Most schools are understaffed, and teachers appreciate all the help they can get. Be sure to arrange this with the teacher first. Teachers see you as an asset to the classroom when you are available and responsive to little needs like supplies or treats as well as big issues.
- Don’t overdo it. Know when to leave. Teachers want help, but they don’t want to feel like you are spying on them. Also, if you are there everyday, all day, instead of appreciating your presence, they will learn to resent it.
- Don’t be bossy. When you are at school, and specifically in the classroom, don’t make demands of the teacher or tell him what to do. You can make suggestions, but be willing to follow up with an offer of help to get the idea or program off the ground. Everybody knows what should be done, but few are actually willing to do it.
- Form a network. Get to know the members of the Parent Teacher Association and other groups where parent leaders gather. There is power in numbers, and indeed, it is the squeaking wheel that gets the oil. The more people you know in the educational community the better. This extends beyond school walls. Drop a note to the superintendent of schools, or the school board president. These connections will serve you well in the future when decisions are being made that affect your school. Principals also have a tendency to listen to parents who they perceive have influence.
- Groom your child. It shouldn’t make a difference, but in the real world, personal appearance often does. Make sure your child looks his or her best when leaving for school. Sloppy grooming habits send the message that you don’t care, which may cause teachers to lose respect for you.
- Know how to handle conflict. When you have a disagreement with a teacher or an administrator, try to straighten it out with that person first. Be calm, clear and reasonable. Know what you want, and state your position calmly but firmly. If necessary write down what you want to say so that you don’t babble. Keep an open mind and be willing to hear the other side of the story. If you don’t get what you want, move up the chain of authority and talk to the next person in command. Always show respect and choose your battles carefully. It is better to let some things go, if it means saving a relationship.
- Give praise. Bethesda School Principal Sandra Ondra says, “People are quick to criticize when things are going wrong, but take it for granted when things are going right.” If you open your eyes to see all the good that is in your school, you will encourage those around you. Teachers and administrators are more apt to listen to your concerns when they know that you are not a person who only knows how to complain.
- Enjoy the ride. The school years are a wonderful adventure. Don’t take things too seriously. Your involvement and commitment to your child are more important to their success than which school they attend. So relax, enjoy, and watch them bloom.
Jacqueline Robinson is a mother of seven who recently graduated from Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan. Sharon Baskin is an educator and teacher at Moses Field School in Detroit, Michigan.