Some parents love talking to their child's teachers to improve parent teacher communication. Others dread this sort of parent involvement in education as if it were a trip to the principal's office.

Whichever type of parent you are, here are some things you might want to remember that will make the parent teacher conference a little easier on you, the teacher and your child:

  • View parent teacher conferences as a two-way street. Work together with the teacher to gain information about how your child learns. You know the child better than anyone, and teachers need your input as much as you need theirs. What should teachers know about your child that can help student teacher relationships when special circumstances come up during the year?
  • Before the conference make a list of questions to ask the teacher. Don't go into a conference expecting the teacher to set the agenda. If you skip this step, on the way home you'll remember that you missed talking about something important.
  • Start the conference on a positive note. If you can't think of anything positive about the teacher, say thank you for taking the time to meet with you. Starting off on a positive note can smooth the way if there are problems to discuss.
  • Compare notes about behavior at school and at home. Talk about behaviors you've noticed at home. Then allow the teacher to comment on the behaviors noticed at school. This will ensure that you and the teacher are working as a team to help your child.
  • Ask the teacher for examples of your child's work. Some of the papers your child brings home might not be true examples of the work they are accomplishing in the classroom. All teachers should have samples of their students' work and will be happy to show them to you.
  • Have the teacher explain anything you don't understand. Don't worry about sounding ignorant. If you don't understand what a teacher is saying, your child might not either. Either way, discuss with your child what you and the teacher talked about. This lets your child know that you are working together to keep her on track at school.
  • Be honest about your feelings. If talking with teachers reminds you of bad experiences you had when you were in school, be honest about it. Tell the teacher if meeting with him makes you nervous. Believe it or not, most teachers are nervous also.
  • Before you leave, make a plan. Ask the teacher what you can do to continue helping your child succeed. Let her know you want information about what's happening at school. Find out the best way to communicate: by phone, notes or e-mail. This lets the teacher know that you are an ally at home and makes you all accountable for future results.

After the Conference

  • Discuss the conference with your child. Talk about any "action plans" that have been agreed upon.
  • Follow up with the teacher. Call after about three weeks to check on progress at home and at school. If you have a question, call or e-mail the teacher. Make an appointment for another conference, if necessary.
  • No matter what the problem is, go to the teacher first. He is in the classroom with your child every day. Start at the source.
  • Avoid criticizing the teacher in front of your child. Your child is with this person most of the day and needs to feel confident under his or her leadership. Your criticism will only confuse her.
  • Monitor your child's homework and stay involved with the school. This way you will know about events as they happen.

Remember, sharing information and working together with your child's teacher helps your child throughout the year, not just at conference time.


 

Sherry Bowen is a mother of two and a school media specialist in Buford, Georgia. This article first appeared in the "Atlanta Monthly," November, 1998.