When Angela Brassow started caring for kids in her own home, she was determined to steer clear of babies. “It just seemed easier not to have to worry about keeping infants safe around the bigger ones,” she says. But then the families she worked with did the unthinkable: They had babies. “So much for my plan,” laughs Angela.
Now an infant will soon be joining her houseful of toddlers and preschoolers—one of which is the baby’s three-year-old sister.
Up until now, Angela’s crew has enjoyed a predictable routine, including attending a weekly library reading program. How will a baby—who needs a near-constant rotation of eating, changing, and napping—affect their schedule that's been focused on toddler learning and activities for preschoolers?
“My preschoolers have a longer attention span than my toddlers, so I’m having to chase after some kids while others are engaged,” Angela says. “Even though I’ll have help, I’m worried about keeping tabs on everyone in public with a baby in my arms.”
There are challenges at home as well. When Angela began setting up the battery-powered infant swing and other baby equipment, her older kids were instantly drawn to the area. “They were into everything, thinking it was all for them,” she says. “Even the new baby’s sister was trying to climb into the swing.” So now Angela is looking for practical ways to gate off that part of the house.
But in doing so, the last thing she wants is to alienate her other kids, who although not little enough to sit in a portable swing are also not big enough to understand what this all means. “I’m especially concerned about the big sister,” Angela says. “She is in the middle of potty training. Now that she’s going to see the baby getting extra attention during diaper changes, I wouldn’t be surprised to see some regression.”
Real Advice
How can child care providers such as Angela best prepare their homes for a new baby? EduGuide's Start magazine asked two experts from the field: a trainer and a provider.
Holly Tiret, educator for Michigan Better Kid Care of Saginaw, a Michigan State University Extension program that offers free and accessible child care training.
Before the baby arrives, read lots of stories to the other children about what’s going to happen. I especially like Mercer Meyer’s The New Baby for an honest look at how things change. Also make sure you have baby dolls in the pretend-play area so kids can care for their own “little ones.” Once the real baby is there, engage the other children in helping care for him. Are they running wild while you’re trying to change him? Direct their energy toward helping you: Ask them to fetch a clean diaper or make faces at the baby to get him smiling. Ask them to sing him songs while you make lunch. You should expect some acting out from the older kids, the same as you’d get at home from older siblings because your child care setting is like a family and the dynamics are the same. If you have borderline potty training, you will probably see some backsliding. There might be more aggression and attempts to get your attention through negative behavior. Try to prevent too much of this by giving extra attention to the older kids whenever possible. Really play up the fact that it’s special to be the older child. You might say, “Aren’t you lucky? The baby can’t play with Legos or have graham crackers for a snack.” Or try, “While the baby’s sleeping, let’s get out the big-kid paints and markers!”
Dorinda Warren, a licensed child care provider in Saginaw, Michigan, with 15 years of experience.
On the very first day, I start by gathering all the kids together. I introduce them to the baby and encourage them to say “hi” to him. I show them how tiny and fragile he is and tell them about the soft spot on his head, because they don’t know about that. This helps them understand my reasons when I say we need to be gentle. I tell them, “Just like you love and care for each other, you need to love and care for this baby.” I make sure they know that they can’t throw toys into his crib, and they can’t touch him without my help. But of course they want to touch him. So I invite them to use one finger to touch the baby’s foot while I’m holding him. If I don’t give them this chance at the beginning, they will try to do it later on their own. I remind them not to poke the baby around the face, and then I keep a close eye on everyone while hoping and praying that it all works out!
Rebecca Kavanagh is a contributing editor for EduGuide.