Q: My baby wakes up when I put him in his crib. He sleeps just fine when he's near me or if I hold him. My mother says I'll spoil him if I pick him up all the time. And I've heard that sleeping with your baby is dangerous. What is SIDS?
A: You might have what one of my friends calls a "Velcro Baby" — because of separation anxiety, babies need to be attached to you to be happy. Although they can be hard on parents, Velcro Babies actually sense what's good for them. Scientists now know what parents have always believed: Human touch is very important to infant brain development.
If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only mom who's sleeping with her baby. A recent survey showed that more than 20 percent of mothers now share their beds with infants during the first month.
Some doctors -- and grandmas -- frown on "co-sleeping," however. They fear that babies might have trouble breathing in soft bedding or their parents might roll on them and smother them. They also fear co-sleeping prevents children from learning how to sleep on their own.
"Nonsense," say other experts. They point out that small children have been sleeping with their parents for thousands of years. In non-Western cultures, they still do.
Some studies suggest that kids who sleep with their parents as babies have fewer behavior problems and perform better in school. Plus, they say co-sleeping may prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), because babies breathe in rhythm with their parents and stay in lighter stages of sleep. Plus, co-sleeping allows parents to respond quickly if their baby stops breathing.
Still, co-sleeping isn't for everyone. Parents who sleep very heavily, who have waterbeds, or who have ingested alcohol or some medications should not bring their babies to bed with them. A better solution might be to move the baby's crib right up next to your bed. You can still reach the baby easily during the night and he will feel secure.